


At Least I Have Myself

by All_the_Queer



Series: "Yamaguchi, that's gay" "Tsukki we've been dating for six months" [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Begging, Butt Plugs, College, Coming Out, Confessions, Dom/sub Undertones, Drinking, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Gags, Gentleness, Getting Together, Hair-pulling, M/M, Masturbation, Medium Burn, Mutual Pining, No beta we spike with our eyes closed, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pining, Praise Kink, Self-Discovery, Smut, Switching, Teasing, Tsukishima Kei Being an Asshole, Underage Drinking, but like in a kinky way, gay struggles, hand holding, my - um.... friend? - says i'm good at writing kinky tension please read this, which isn't a thing but still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:02:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 21,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26439949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/All_the_Queer/pseuds/All_the_Queer
Summary: Yamaguchi figured out he was into boys a couple of months ago, and the decidedly un-heterosexual thoughts involving his best friend only escalated since then. He was currently working on crushing those feelings but so far it had not been going well.That's fine. He could fix this.(This started out as a smutty oneshot but it somehow grew a plot and feelings.)
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Series: "Yamaguchi, that's gay" "Tsukki we've been dating for six months" [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963501
Comments: 68
Kudos: 298





	1. Yamaguchi the vulnerable

**Author's Note:**

> Tadashi is feeling himself. Metaphorically. And also physically. But mostly metaphorically.  
> Idk what this is. Just take it.

Tadashi was exhausted. But at least his stomach wasn't trying to eat itself anymore. Dinner had been one of the best decisions he'd made recently, but overall it was the end of a long, hard day in the life of Yamaguchi Tadashi and his body reminded him at every step. Who knew college would be so tough? At least it was Friday.

He stumbled into his dorm room, shrugging his book-bag onto the desk.

His roommate gave a nod in greeting, throwing a few shirts into a suitcase before zipping it up and rolling towards the door.

Yamaguchi nodded in response before closing his eyes and leaning on his desk. Wow, he was a lot more drained than he'd thought.

"See you Sunday." The roommate said. The guy never said more than he had to. Yamaguchi kind of liked that. It felt safe. He knew that his roommate would never beat around the bush on co-habitation issues. However, having a fulfilling conversation with the man proved to be a challenge.

"Gotcha. Have a safe--" Yamaguchi heard the door click shut behind him and he assumed he was alone now. "--trip."

Yawning, he unbuttoned his jacket as he fell into bed. He didn't have the energy to take it off.

 _No more homework!_ That single thought relaxed him more than any bubble bath or self-care routine. He let himself drift into a comfortably sleepy stupor. _Is this how cats spend their days? Just constantly half-awake? They're so lucky. This is great._ Even as his arms and legs lay limp and his mind fuzzed, Yamaguchi couldn't deny the little pang of hunger in his stomach.

Tadashi had the room to himself for the first time since he'd got there. He hadn't had the chance to touch himself in what felt like _ages_. Never had he suspected that living with a roommate would be so invasive. _Is this what having a brother is like?_ He thought with horror. _How do people with siblings ever masturbate?_ _Wouldn't they be afraid of making noise?_

Yamaguchi was always afraid of that. He knew he was loud. It was mortifying.

Of course, he'd never had a partner so he didn't find out that way. No, it was always at his own hand. Well... Yamaguchi would hum when Tsukishima absentmindedly played with his hair, but that didn't count! It's not like they were going out or anything! He and Tsukki were _just_ _friends_.

His mood soured. He suddenly wasn't so turned on anymore. Yamaguchi figured out he was into boys a couple of months ago. And the decidedly non-heterosexual thoughts involving his best friend had only escalated since then. He was working on crushing those feelings but it had not been going well.

That's fine. He could fix this.

Yamaguchi stretched and sat up with renewed energy. He padded over to his dresser and opened his toy drawer. His mouth watered and the hunger was back. Sure, he'd used a few of them before but he'd gotten some new ones since moving away and he hadn't even unwrapped them yet.

Yamaguchi had done a little soul-searching since he got to college and what he'd found was... fascinating. He had become increasingly suspicious that he might like being gagged. So suspicious that he'd bought one. His fingers lightly brushed over his new black ball-gag. A shiver ran up his spine. He hadn't had a chance to use it yet. He'd barely been able to unbox it before Tsukki had tried to walk in on him. Tadashi had stuffed it into his underwear drawer so fast his hands became a blur. That had been a close one. Good thing he doesn't have a key to Tadashi's room. That would have been a disaster. His face heated up at the memory. He was so embarrassed, but...

He gingerly picked up the gag by the buckle. His hands shook. _This is so weird. Why do I like this so much?_

Tadashi cautiously crept his fingers down the leather straps, inching towards the silicone ball nestled in the center. When his fingers stopped dangerously close to the mouthpiece, he wondered what there was to be afraid of. _It's not like there's anyone here!_ He looked around just in case.

He traced the pad of his thumb over the ball. It felt soft.

He touched more, closing one fist around it. Yamaguchi liked it. He wanted to try it out. Hell, he had the whole room to himself! Why not?

For some reason he felt like if he put it in his mouth, everyone would instantly know his secret. He gulped, sweating more than normal.

Without giving himself time to chicken out, he shoved the ball between his teeth.

He tried biting down but although the ball was soft, it was not pliant. His mouth was forced open.

He thought maybe he'd bought one that was too big, but he couldn't bring himself to take it out. It felt... really good.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Yamaguchi reached around and fastened the buckled behind his head. _Not too tight for the first time_ , he decided. _Just enough so that it won't fall out_.

As soon as he clicked it into place, Tadashi had to fist his hands into the sides of his pants. Here he was, kneeling on the floor of his college dorm room with a ball-gag in his mouth.

Yamaguchi burned with embarrassment. It felt like he was being punished for something and he _liked_ it. He liked how the silicone firmly pushed his tongue out of the way, making him adjust to the new sensation of his tongue flitting around the ball trying to get comfortable. It couldn't. He chewed hard. The ball didn't give, only pressed painfully into the roof of his mouth. He let out a soft moan. _God,_ he liked that, too. The sound of his own voice around the gag. He sounded different. Usually he was biting down, trying to keep his sounds inside. But the gag forced his lips wide open now. Nowhere to hide. He felt vulnerable. He loved it.

He pushed his tongue against the ball experimentally, trying to spit it out, but the strap kept it in. Drool dripped out the corner of his mouth. He bit down harder. The straps dug into the corners of his mouth.

The only thing he could do was open his mouth wider which just made the ball sink deeper and displaced his tongue even more. He whined. Like a muzzled dog. The power of speech taken away from him.

Why did he like this so much?

He whined again--

A soft knock at his door. Yamaguchi froze.

"Hey, Tadashi?" A voice called from the dorm hallway.

Yamaguchi scrabbled with the buckle at the back of his head. _Crap, what's he doing here?_

"Let me in. I don't want to yell through a door." Tsukishima sounded peeved at being denied the luxury of walking into Yamaguchi's room whenever he wanted like he had so many times in high school. Now they all had individual keys and the front desk wouldn't take _because I always used to in high school_ as a viable reason to give Tsukishima an extra.

Yamaguchi's mind reeled as he tried desperately to undo the gag, nerves making his fingers clumsy.

"I know you're in there," Tsukishima knocked again, louder this time. "I can hear you." He prayed that Tsukishima was referencing something other than his gagged noises. Oh God, what if Tsukishima had heard him whimper?

Yamaguchi finally slipped the buckle loose, face red hot. The ball slipped from his lips with a pop that in any other situation would have been hot. The emptiness felt weird. He licked around his own mouth to readjust. _Okay, maybe the sound was still a little hot--NO. Focus._ He wiped drool off his chin. Without his permission, a thought intruded: Tsukishima's long elegant fingers wiping it away instead. _I'm disgusting. We're just friends._

"Tadashi!"

"Coming!" He yelped, throwing the gag into his dresser drawer and slamming it shut before rushing to open the door.

To say that Tsukishima was displeased would be an understatement. He towered over Yamaguchi even though Tsukki really wasn't that much taller. Maybe it was because of what he had just been doing, but in this moment Yamaguchi felt so small when Tsukishima crossed his arms and glowered down at him.

"What is it, Tsukki?" His voice was thin.

Tsukishima's eyebrows raised slightly. "Are you okay?" Suddenly an edge of concern.

"I, uh, yeah!" Yamaguchi panicked. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes. "Can I come in?"

"Of course!" Yamaguchi stepped aside.

Tsukishima waited for Yamaguchi to gesture before striding in and surveying the room. "You're alone?"

"Gone to visit his parents for the weekend. Why?"

Tsukishima hesitated, eyeing Yamaguchi. Then he shrugged. "No reason. Just thought I heard you talking to someone."

Yamaguchi didn't know whether to be mortified that his best friend had heard him getting turned on from being gagged or relieved that he'd thought it was a normal conversation.

"I-- I was on the phone." He said quickly.

Tsukishima sat down on Yamaguchi's bed. "He's still as messy as always." He looked down his nose at the opposing bed of his roommate.

Yamaguchi snickered and sat down in his desk chair as Tsukishima shrugged off his book bag.

"Well, I came by to ask if you wanted to go to this dumb party with me. But it sounded stupid so I don't know." Tsukishima grumbled.

His insides churned with excitement. Yamaguchi had never been to a college party before. "Dumb, huh?"

"Yeah." Tsukishima fidgeted with the bedsheets.

"When does this party start?"

"Like an hour ago."

"Oh," Yamaguchi swiveled around in his chair, trying to appear nonchalant.

Tsukishima picked at the sheets.

Yamaguchi pretended to look at his phone. This was their game. They played it often. Tsuikishima always wanted to look cool so he didn't state what he wanted outright. Yamaguchi didn't mind so much. Only because Tsukki was so easy to read. When things got really confusing, then he would ask for clarification. This was not one of those times.

Tsukishima broke the silence. "So do you wanna go or what?"

 _Tsukki there is nothing I would like more than to go to my first college party right now!_ He schooled his face into one of disinterest. "Sure." He shrugged.

"Okay, then." Tsukishima stood up. "I'll be back in five minutes."

"I'll be ready." Yamaguchi got up to walk his guest to the door.

Tsukishima stopped directly in front of him and Yamaguchi almost tripped.

"You're okay?" His eyes flashed concern again.

"Yeah, I'm good. Why do you ask?" _Do I always sweat this much? Maybe it's just the fear. Yeah, it's just the fear that he somehow knows I was on my knees turned on by the thought of being punished not even ten minutes ago._

Tsukishima surveyed his face. Then shrugged. "Nothing." He walked out into the hall and back towards his own room a floor below where they stood.

Yamaguchi quickly shut the door. He scrambled to open the his phone, desperate for some kind of mirror. Why did Tsukishima think something was wrong? Did he look sick?

His own face popped up. Yamaguchi panicked. It was hard to see, but there they were. Faint red indents on the corners of his mouth, no doubt where the gag had bitten into his skin. They were nothing serious and would fade in a couple of minutes, he hoped. But that didn't stop hot shame from flooding through him. Shame and... something else?

Maybe Tsukki knowing wouldn't be the worst thing.

 _Whoa! Slow down!_ Yamaguchi thought as he pulled off his sweaty shirt. _It's not like he would be interested in knowing that stuff._

His heart squeezed uncomfortably. Why did that thought hurt so much? And why did it make him feel so empty?

Maybe he _did_ want to talk to Tsukki about this stuff. Yeah, it might be comforting to have a friend on this journey with him.

But, no. Tsukki would probably think he was weird. And Tsukki would _definitely_ make fun of him. He'd made fun of Yamaguchi over less embarrassing stuff before. Tadashi didn't need more shame on top of what he, himself, was already supplying.

No. He wouldn't tell Tsukishima.

His heart squeezed painfully again. What was wrong with him?

***

Five minutes later he was dressed and ready to go, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His new favorite sweater scooped low across his collarbones, almost dripping off his shoulders. He liked wearing yellow, it looked nice with his hair. And the little white clouds floating across his torso looked cute, too. Regular jeans and his one pair of almost-nice shoes finished the ensemble. He didn't know if he should change or not. Maybe he should put on some eye-shadow to match the sweater? He remembered that makeup on boys was a big thing on the internet now, but he didn't know if he would like it. He thought the boys on the internet looked cute, though. No, it was too big of a risk. He didn't want to suddenly feel out-of-place because he was over-dressed.

He leaned closer to the mirror, inspecting his face. The marks at the corner of his lips had almost completely faded. It was the _almost_ that made Yamaguchi fiddle at the hem of his sweater nervously. Maybe it was his imagination. Maybe the marks were gone and his mind was playing a joke on him. A mean joke.

And what's worse is he couldn't stop thinking about telling Tsukki about it.

A knock at his door.

Yamaguchi rushed, fumbling to open it. After the last time, he was not about to make Tsukishima wait again. He pulled open the door.

Honey-colored eyes scowled down at him for the second time that evening. Yamaguchi wondered whether Tsukki could see the red marks. He shivered pleasantly. _Stop it,_ he scolded himself.

Tsukki looked stunning in blue. A deep, blue dress-shirt with stars flecked across the collar adorned Tsukishima’s thin frame. His usual black jacket hung off his shoulders. _So cool!_ Yamaguchi couldn’t help himself. Tsukishima looked really good in that jacket. He always looked good, but Yamaguchi decided to stop thinking about that right now before it got out-of-hand. To his relief, Tsukishima also chose to wear jeans. _Good, at least we’ll both be underdressed._

Tsukishima looked him up and down. He must have been satisfied with Yamaguchi's outfit because he didn't comment. He pulled out his phone and began typing lazily. "Let's go."

Yamaguchi nodded even though Tsukishima wasn't looking.

Tsukishima began walking down the hall, assuming Yamaguchi would follow. He was right.

"Where is it?"

"Just on the edge of campus."

Seeing as campus had several edges, there were a lot of places that could mean. He decided he didn't really care. "Okay."

Tsukishima pulled his earphones up: the conversation was over.

The walk was silent and slow. Tsukishima never liked to walk anywhere above a relaxed stride. He would aggressively move at his own pace in every situation. Yamaguchi followed. Like normal. However, he panicked more than usual tonight. It was taking every ounce of willpower to keep his mouth shut about his weird kink stuff. He was itching to tell someone and the only person he trusted enough was right in front of him.

_Why do I want to talk about it so much?_

Yamaguchi clamped his mouth down.

"What?"

Yamaguchi almost bumped into his friend's back, not realizing he'd stopped walking and was now looking at Yamaguchi expectantly. "Huh?"

"I can practically hear your anxiety over my music."

"Sorry, Tsukki." He squeaked. _Oh no. He knows. He knows everything--_

Tsukishima sighed. His headphones slung back around his neck, an invitation for conversation. "We don't have to go if you don't want to. Like I said, it's dumb."

"Oh, no! It's not that." He blurted.

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow.

"It's just..."

Tsukishima crossed his arms. Yamaguchi swallowed.

"It's just... not that."

Golden eyes narrowed. "Then what is it?"

"Uh, it's nothing. It's stupid." Yamaguchi chewed his bottom lip, edging forward in the hopes that Tsukishima would start walking again. He couldn't breathe under that glare.

No such luck. Tsukishima looked interested.

"I don't... I don't want to talk about it." That was a lie. He wanted to talk about _everything_ with Tsukishima. But he knew he shouldn't. There were some things that other people just didn't care about. He wouldn't bother his friend with personal information like that. At the very least, it would be annoying to Tsukishima. And at worst it might ruin their friendship. Tadashi could vividly imagine Tsukishima curling his lip and spitting _pathetic_. Yamaguchi would not be able to handle something like that in his current state of horny confusion.

But Tsukishima scanned carefully over Yamaguchi's face, like he was a puzzle to solve. His eyes moved a little too slowly for Yamaguchi's liking. He didn't like being looked at. It made him uncomfortable. Like he had something to hide. Which, in this moment, he supposed that he did. But it also made him hot for some reason. Hot and excited.

"Okay," Tsukishima shrugged and dropped his eyes, releasing Yamaguchi from the spell. He pulled his headphones on again and continued onwards towards wherever this party was.

Yamaguchi let out a lungful of air. He could breathe again. Thank God he hadn't run his mouth.

***

They were clearly late, but no one in the crowded little apartment seemed to care. They kicked off their shoes so they wouldn’t soil the carpet. It was loud. But Yamaguchi discovered it was a good kind of loud. A friendly kind of loud. He liked the beat of the music accompanied by shouted conversations. No one was aware of him. He didn’t have to live up to any expectations, not like in volleyball games or when he had to answer a question in class. No one was looking at him. It was a weight off his chest. He could breathe easier. A quick glance at Tsukishima showed that the other boy didn't share the sentiment. The taller hesitated in the doorway, adjusting his glasses nervously.

Yamaguchi stepped forward. “Tsu--”

"Heyyy!!" A giant hand slapped Yamaguchi's back in what he was sure was supposed to be a welcoming gesture, but it really just _hurt_. The force of it sent him toppling the rest of the way into the living room. "Glad you could make it!”

"B-Bokuto?" Yamaguchi steadied himself and rolled his smarting shoulder. That guy still had one hell of a spiking arm.

“It’s been too long, Tsukki!” He laughed uproariously, trying to bestow upon Tsukishima’s shoulder the same painful fate.

Tsukishima had apparently learned from Yamaguchi’s mistake and hurried to the living room before Bokuto could slap him as well. “Don’t call me that.” He adjusted his glasses. Yamaguchi caught himself staring at the blocker’s long, elegant fingers. He hurriedly dragged his eyes back to Bokuto, face growing hot.

Kuroo stepped out from the kitchen. “We figured goggles over there would drag you along." He was barely audible above the music.

Yamaguchi nodded. He didn’t really know what else to do. It was a safe assumption. A small warmth wriggled happily in his stomach at the thought that their friends knew Tsukishima would bring Yamaguchi without being asked. This wasn’t a new discovery. He knew that everyone thought that already. But it made him happy nonetheless. Yamaguchi tried to squash the feeling like usual. _Just friends,_ he scolded.

“We hoped he would!” Bokuto yelled. “You seem like a cool guy!” He giggled. Maybe he’d already had something to drink... 

Kuroo grinned. “We’re glad little Tsu-Tsu has someone responsible looking after him in the big, bad world of college freshman-ism.”

Yamaguchi shivered happily at the comment. _Him?_ Look after _Tsukki?_ Wasn’t it the other way around? Tsukishima was always coming over to check-in with him even if he never admitted that’s what he was doing.

Tsukishima huffed angrily, but immediately melted into a smile faker than snow cone flavoring. “Actually, Yamaguchi’s been so involved with school it’s been hard to hang out. But I make do.”

Yamaguchi felt a beefy arm circle his shoulders. Kuroo. He… honestly didn’t mind it. He kind of liked the contact. He liked it from Kuroo, too. The weight was nice. Not like Tsukishima was very cuddly, anyway. He stepped closer so that the other boy wouldn’t have to stretch his arm out so far.

“Is that so, Yam-Yams?”

Yamaguchi was oddly okay with the nickname, too. It seemed like it was all in good fun. The guy gave off a comforting energy.

But Kuroo prodded, clearly enjoying ruffling Tsukishima’s feathers. “Leaving our poor Tsu-Tsu all alone? He gets sad if you don’t water him with attention every now and then. Like a plant, you know?”

Yamaguchi knew these guys got under Tsukki’s skin--if the blocker’s rants about them were anything to go by--but he had no idea their attacks were so… weird. He waited for Tsukishima to fire back.

But the answer didn’t come.

Yamaguchi turned to Tsukishima, concerned. His face was strange. He looked like he was either about to throw a punch or start crying and for some reason Yamaguchi couldn’t tell which one.

“Um,” Yamaguchi continued quietly, to check-in. “Tsu--”

“We were just about to start a drinking game if you guys want in!” Bokuto smiled widely, completely missing the tonal shift. He patted Yamaguchi on the shoulder again, not as roughly as before. Yamaguchi still winced.

The invitation made Yamaguchi feel included. He liked it. Maybe Kuroo and Tsukishima could talk about whatever just happened, too, and work it out. “Ye--”

“I’m okay, thanks.” Tsukishima interrupted, adjusting his glasses, apparently recovered from his short lapse of control.

Yamaguchi frowned. _Running away, Tsukki?_

“You sure? We haven’t seen you in--”

“I’m fine.” Tsukishima was already walking away. “Thanks.”

“Okay, then. Drinks are in the kitchen if you want anything.” Kuroo looked like he’d unexpectedly stepped on a landmine. Which wasn’t that far from the truth, actually.

Yamaguchi apologized for Tsukki’s retreat.

“No, no. It’s okay.” He sighed, taking his arm off Yamaguchi. “I didn’t mean to make him upset. I’ll be outside if you guys wanna hang.”

Bokuto followed Kuroo to the backyard, looking a little dejected that Tsukishima and Yamaguchi wouldn’t be joining them.

He scanned the living room for Tsukishima. He found him in an empty corner of the room beside a vacant chair, settled in. Which for Tsukki meant leaning his back against the wall.

Yamaguchi joined him. “Is that chair for me?”

Tsukishima removed his jacket from the seat and shrugged noncommittally.

 _That means yes._ “Thanks.” He sat down, picking at the hem of his sweater.

“Did you want to play?” Tsukishima muttered.

“Huh?” Yamaguchi said stupidly.

“That drinking game with those two idiots. I just assumed, you know, since you’re not 21 yet, that you would say no.” Tsukishima turned his eyes on his best friend. “You want to? Go ahead.”

Yamaguchi hesitated. “You’re not going to?”

“Don’t feel like it.” He crossed his arms and turned his head, pretending to inspect his nails. Tsukki was pouting. Tadashi found it adorable.

He also found the way Tsukki subconsciously pushed out his bottom lip very… captivating. He wondered how it would feel to gently take that lip between his teeth and bite.

Yamaguchi pulled himself back to reality. “What’s wrong, Tsukki?”

“Nothing,” Tsukishima shrugged. “Just didn’t remember those jerks being so obnoxious.”

“Yeah. That was pretty rude.” Yamaguchi admitted.

Tsukishima hummed, finger tapping against the headphones that were still slung around his neck.

“Do you want a drink?” Yamaguchi offered.

“No, I’m okay.” Tsukishima slipped the headphones on. “You go get one for yourself, if you want.”

Yamaguchi wilted when he saw that Tsukishima had no intention of continuing the conversation. He hated when Tsukki ignored him. Mostly just because he couldn’t fix something when he didn’t know what the problem was. He got up stiffly.

A gentle nudge against his abused shoulder turned Yamaguchi back around. Tsukishima was close. He couldn’t have been more than a foot away. He slid one of his headphones to the side so he could hear. Tadashi’s eyes watched the movement, trying not to picture what those fingers would feel like on him. _Now is not the time._ He begged his own sex-drive to calm the hell down.

It didn’t listen. He wanted to look at Tsukishima’s lips so badly. Getting so close to the grumpy blonde was a rarity and his mind swam knowing that from this distance Yamaguchi would be able to see the details of how softly they curved and the delicate way they fell into the teasing grin he knew Tsukishima wore at this moment.

Yamaguchi forced himself to lock onto Tsukishima’s honey-glazed stare instead. It wasn’t much better. Those eyes bored into him, like they could see all the shameful secrets he was hiding. Like he was completely naked and Tsukishima could see _everything_. Yamaguchi swallowed. He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

“I’m just…” Tsukishima looked away.

Yamaguchi caught his breath.

He sighed and tilted his phone screen so that Yamaguchi could see. It was his Calm playlist.

 _Oh._ Tsukki just needed some time to cool down. _Roger that_. “So… you won’t be mad if I go play that drinking game?”

His head cocked to the side, confused. “What? Of course not.”

“I just thought you might not like it if I hung out with--”

“Tadashi.”

His heart skipped a beat.

“We’re not kids anymore.” He said confidently. “You’re an adult. Do what you want. I’ll get over it.”

 _What I want…?_ Yamaguchi had to stop himself from leaning in to kiss Tsukishima against the wall right then and there. These gay thoughts were getting really hard to manage.

Tsukishima cleared his throat.

Yamaguchi’s eyes snapped back into focus.

“You okay?”

“Oh, yeah!” Tadashi stuttered out. “I’m having fun!” _Crap, that sounded so fake._

Tsukishima looked him up and down, but didn’t comment.

Yamaguchi didn’t want to move. Something about being this close to Tsukishima made him excited.

“So are you gonna go play pong?”

Yamaguchi snorted. “You mean beer pong? Because I don’t have the game ‘pong’ on me right now.”

Tsukishima wrinkled his nose like a child told he couldn’t have the last slice of cake. “Are you gonna go play beer _whatever_ with the idiots?”

Yamaguchi’s heart squeezed fondly. “Yeah, I am.” He decided. “They seem alright.”

Tsukishima snickered. “They really aren’t, trust me.”

“Okay,” It was easy to let Tsukishima win the small fights. “You be good, okay?” Well, maybe Yamaguchi wanted to win some, too.

Tsukishima’s face was priceless. A note of surprise danced behind his eyes at the teasing tone in Yamaguchi’s voice. He smiled. “Always am.”

Yamaguchi snorted again. Now _that_ was a good one.

Tsukishima exhaled a quiet laugh as he pushed Yamaguchi away. “Shut up, Yamaguchi. Now go play with the other doofuses.”

Yamaguchi almost tripped over his own feet as he hurried out of the room, a warmth in his chest.

“Hey hey hey! Look who decided to show up!” Bokuto looked overjoyed to have him. The music was way quieter out here and people were able to have real conversations and mingle a bit.

Kuroo and Bokuto looked genuinely glad Tadashi decided to play. He could get used to this.

***

A couple of rounds in and Yamaguchi felt very strange. He couldn’t get a handle on whether his thoughts were his normal thoughts or whether he was actually being affected by the alcohol. Probably that one. Yeah, probably that one.

“Yamaguchi?” Kuroo slid quietly next to him.

“Yeah?” Was he talking louder than normal? No, probably not.

Kuroo patted Tadashi’s head fondly. “Listen, I wanted to say sorry for earlier.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Yamaguchi sighed. “I don’t know why Tsukki let it get to him like that. He’s usually so cool.”

Kuroo smiled. “I bet.” He chewed his lip. “Listen, could you tell him I said that?”

Yamaguchi pouted. Why did everyone try to talk to Tsukki through him? If other people wanted to talk to Tsukki that bad, they should just do it. “Tell him yourself.”

His face dropped. “I don’t think he wants to talk to me right now.”

“Fine.” Yamaguchi huffed. This was getting annoying. Why didn’t anyone ever want to talk to _Tadashi_ for a change? It was ‘Tsukki this’ and ‘Tsukki that’ and ‘Wow I bet Tsukki would really like me, huh? Will you ask him for me?’ No. No he wouldn’t. But… he always did. He didn’t know why. Maybe he was too weak to tell Tsukki that he didn’t like it when girls were nice to him just to get closer to Tsukishima. Or maybe he just didn’t want to get in the way of Tsukki being happier with someone else.

“Yamaguchi?” Kuroo’s voice was gentle for some reason.

“Hm?” His own voice sounded far away.

“You’re crying.”

He touched his own cheek. It was wet. Huh. Weird.

“Are you--”

“It’s fine! We can talk to him together!” Yamaguchi grabbed onto Kuroo’s hand and began dragging him towards the door.

“Hold on there, Yam-Yams!” He twisted out of Yamaguchi’s grip, laughing. “You’re right, okay? After this I’ll go in and apologize to Tsukki myself, okay?”

“Okay.” Yamaguchi squatted down to sit in the grass, rubbing the tears he didn’t remember crying off his face.

“I wanted to talk to you first, though.”

“Why?” A fresh wave of tears threatened to spill. “Because I’m not as intimidating as Tsukki?”

Kuroo seemed surprised but unphased. “No, I just… I want Tsukishima to be happy. I want you both to be happy.”

Yamaguchi had no idea what that meant. “That’s… nice of you.”

“I’ve always been a nice person.” Kuroo smirked. “But… I don’t know how to say this.” He thought for a second. Then he lit up. “You know how I said that Tsukki was like a plant?”

“Yeah, it was really weird.” Yamaguchi yawned. Suddenly he was dead-tired.

“Well I’ve got this theory that he’s gotta be watered by you, though.” Kuroo smiled thoughtfully. “We try, Bokuto and me, but it’s gotta be you, Yammy.”

Tadashi didn’t really understand what Kuroo meant but his heart swelled anyway. “I, um. What?”

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. It’s not like we’re trying to steal him from you.”

“No, no. That’s not what I mean.” Yamaguchi hummed, trying to find the words. “What… do I have to water him with?”

Kuroo grinned. “Just yourself. He just likes being around you. You know that, right?”

Now Yamaguchi was buzzed on the idea that Tsukishima liked his company. “You think so?” He said hopefully.

Kuroo laughed. “Of course he does. He _likes_ you, Yammy.”

 _He likes… me? He likes… being around me?_ Somewhere in the logical part of his mind, Yamaguchi knew that if Tsukki hated him he would have stopped hanging around. But, he never heard it out loud before.

Kuroo offered a hand to help Yamaguchi up.

Yamaguchi shook his head. He liked the grass. It was cool and soft and felt nice between his fingers. He also didn’t know if standing up was a very good idea with his head spinning like it was.

Kuroo smirked again. “Okay, you don’t have to come in, but you do have to drink some water. Bokuto!” He called.

Yamaguchi drifted into a haze. He didn’t know what happened next. It didn’t matter. All he could think about was _Tsukki… like… me._

It wasn’t romantic, Yamaguchi was sure. But the way Kuroo had said it-- No. Definitely not. He squashed those feelings. Still, the thought alone that Tsukishima enjoyed his company was enough to get him high.

The next thing he knew Bokuto was pressing a cup of water into his hands cooing and patting his head supportively. _What is it with these guys and patting my head?_ He thought distantly before drinking the water and laying down in the cool grass.

***

“Come on, Yamaguchi.” The vague feeling of someone lightly kicking his foot brought him back to the land of living.

“Hghm?” He opened his eyes.

“I told him to come get his boyfriend.” Kuroo chimed.

Tsukishima grumbled. He didn’t protest. Yamaguchi could die a happy man.

He sat up and immediately regretted it. “How long was I out?” He mumbled.

Tsukishima shot him the _I can’t believe you_ look. Kuroo laughed.

“Just, like, five minutes, dude.” Bokuto supplied.

“Oh. Good.” He sunk back down to his new home: the grass. He liked it here.

“Oh no you don’t.” Tsukishima grabbed his hand, preventing a satisfying grassy crunch beside his ears. “I’ve gotta get you home.”

“But whyyy?” Tadashi pouted. He was honestly so tired he wanted to fall asleep here. Why not? He didn’t have classes tomorrow.

Tsukishima huffed, but relented. He squatted down next to Yamaguchi, gently lowering the boy in the grass again. _My home, I’ve returned! Oh, I missed you so much!_ It felt pleasantly scratchy against his ears.

Kuroo smirked. “Bokuto?”

“On it.” He ran inside.

Tsukishima stared down at him. Yamaguchi could lie here forever, held up by the grass and held down by Tsukishima’s honey-sweet eyes.

“Did you two talk?” Yamaguchi asked sleepily.

Tsukishima looked confused. “Yeah, we did.”

“Good.” Yamaguchi stretched out, just now noticing that Tsukishima was still holding his hand. He giggled at the rush it brought to his buzzed, sleepy mind. Honestly, right now the sleepiness was doing more to him than the alcohol. The week had been so long. He was so tired.

“What?” Tsukishima looked worried.

“Uhhh…” He didn’t know how to express everything without saying a lot of things he wasn’t ready to share yet.

Kuroo was having the time of his life trying to hold in peals of laughter at what--Yamaguchi expected--was his expense.

Yamaguchi scowled. “Kuroo. You’re making fun of me.”

“Only a little.” He admitted.

Bokuto came running back with two cups of water.

“What took you so long?” Tsukishima muttered.

Bokuto was winding up with a response but Kuroo shushed him and handed the waters to Tsukishima before promptly grabbing Bokuto and walking off. “Have a good night you two! Keep in touch, mmmkay?”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “Sit up.”

“But my head hurts,” Yamaguchi complained. He also didn’t want to leave his grassy friends again. He didn’t want to say that, though. Tsukki wouldn’t understand.

Tsukishima glowered down at him harshly.

Unbidden, a shiver raced up Tadashi’s spine at the sternness.

“Okay,” He set one of the waters down beside them. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

Yamaguchi hummed.

“If you sit up and drink one of these waters now, I’ll lay down with you for a while.”

Yamaguchi was already sold. But he wanted to keep his options open. “And if I don’t?”

Tsukishima’s harsh look was back and so was the hunger in the pit of Tadashi’s stomach. “Then I’ll hoist you up right now and carry you home if I have to.”

“But then I get to be carried by you.” Yamaguchi mused. Both turned out to be good options after all. _Crap._ Did he say that out loud?

This was clearly not the answer Tsukishima had been expecting. He frowned. “I guess you would.”

“Sorry Tsukki!” His face was on fire. “I--”

“That’s okay.” Tsukishima sat down. “You’re drunk, you don’t mean it.”

He seemed… sad? No. That was wishful thinking. Tadashi just really wanted Tsukishima to care about him… like that.

“So are you going to drink it or what?” He shoved the cup into Tadashi’s hand and let go of his fingers.

Yamaguchi hadn’t realized how much he’d liked holding Tsukishima’s hand until it was gone. Ne nodded glumly and sat up slowly.

The next few minutes were silent as Yamaguchi downed not one but both of the cups. He actually had been really thirsty.

“Thanks,” Yamaguchi said softly, watching the other partygoers walk by now that he was more aware of his surroundings. That embarrassment had woken him right up. No more happy daze. He was fully back. And it felt terrible.

Tsukishima shrugged, picking at his fingernails.

Yamaguchi set the empty cup down.

“Feel better?” Tsukishima probed.

Yamaguchi nodded. _Not really. I feel like an idiot_.

Tsukishima nodded. He scooted over to Yamaguchi and laid down next to him in the grass, closing his eyes.

Yamaguchi looked down at him. Moonlight spilled over him, accentuating the strong curves of his jaw and cheekbones. His chest rose and fell softly as he relaxed. He was beautiful. He looked softer than newly washed linens and Yamaguchi wanted to touch. Just once. Just--

“Tadashi?”

He yelped like the word itself had burned him. But Tsukishima’s eyes were still closed.

“You’ve been acting weird all day. I wanted to ask you about it.”

Yamaguchi sighed, joining Tsukishima on the ground. “I don’t think I should talk about it.” He admitted. He didn’t know whether he was talking about the gag or the hunger he had for Tsukishima.

“Hm?” Tsukishima was prying, he knew that.

“It’s gross.” Yamaguchi admitted.

“Doesn’t matter.” Yamaguchi couldn’t believe it: Tsukishima was giving him permission.

“Tsukki, I don’t want you to think I’m…”

Silence hung thick between the two even as the party carried on around them.

Yamaguchi sighed in frustration. “Can I hold your hand again?”

A pause. Yamaguchi’s heart sank. Chilled fingers slid in between Yamaguchi’s own. “Yeah.”

“Oh.” Yamaguchi hadn’t realized how nice it felt to ask Tsukishima for things and then have them come true. Maybe... 

No. Start small.

“I… I’m gay.”

Another pause. “Okay.”

Yamaguchi couldn’t handle not being able to see Tsukishima’s face. But he didn’t have the courage to look at him. “It’s really okay?”

“Yeah. It’s none of my business, really. So why should I care about who you go to bed with?”

Yamaguchi’s heart sank. He didn’t know what he’d been expecting. This was supposed to be a good thing. He came out and his best friend didn’t hate him. This was supposed to be the best case scenario. So why did it hurt so much?

“When did you know?”

The question smacked him out of nowhere. “I don’t know.” He blurted. “This is the first time I’m saying it out loud.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.”

Yamaguchi disentangled their fingers. His face burned with shame. Shame for hoping that Tsukishima would do something nice, like have a crush on him, too. _Stupid_. He sat up, ready to go home now and cry a little. His head didn’t hurt as much now. Damn, that water really worked wonders.

“I guess I didn’t really know, either.”

Yamaguchi froze. “Didn’t really know what?”

“Didn’t really know when I realized I was gay, either.”

Yamaguchi choked on air. “ _You’re_ gay?”

“Yeah. I just figured we didn’t talk about that stuff. Thought you didn’t want to. Too private.” Tsukishima explained in a rational tone.

Yamaguchi was beside himself. “I thought you wouldn’t care!” His voice cracked.

Tsukishima sat up, glaring at Yamaguchi with a protective edge. _Cute,_ his brain supplied, unprompted. “Wouldn’t care?? Yamaguchi, why the hell would you think that?!”

He turned away and fiddled with his fingers. “I don’t know.”

Tsukishima’s voice softened. “I do care.”

“Okay then.” Yamaguchi’s stomach did flips. _Stop it. He might not even like you like that. Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean he’ll settle for you._ “I’ll tell you the other things when I’m ready.”

“There are other things?” Tsukishima looked incredulous, which was fair. Usually coming out as gay was a pretty big deal.

“Yeah.” _One day I’ll talk to you about my kinks. And then maybe I’ll ask you to be my boyfriend. Wait, maybe the other way around? No, because what if he says no to the boyfriend thing?? I’d feel even weirder talking about my kinks then! I don’t kno--_

Tsukishima prodded him in the back. “Tadashi?”

“Yeah?”

“Ready to go?”

“Uh-huh.”

Tsukishima was already standing. Tadashi was grateful for the extended hand, unsure if it was a good idea for him to try standing on his own yet.

Tsukishima pulled him up. Yamaguchi felt better. Almost normal, even. Almost.

“Whoa,” Tsukishima steadied him. “Lightheaded much?”

“Sorry, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi held on for dear life until the dots had cleared from his vision.

“Good?”

“Good.”

They walked back through the party, saying goodnight to everyone along the way. Tsukishima, Kuroo, and Bokuto made him drink even more water even though he tried to convince them he was _fine_ . Yamaguchi hadn’t realized he’d made such a good impression. It felt like everyone wanted his phone number to hang out again later. _Wow, one game of beer pong and he was suddenly friend-rich._ Yamaguchi decided he had to do this more often. He hadn’t even played a full game. Just a couple of drinks. But Tsukishima was standing by the door looking miffed so he wrapped it up.

Tadashi was definitely solidly back in reality now.

“Okay, let’s go!” He stuttered, pulling the door open.

“Have a nice night, love-birds!” Someone called after them. Probably Bokuto.

Yamaguchi’s face heated up. Tsukishima wasn’t denying it. Yamaguchi was in heaven.

On the way out the door he felt long, elegant fingers tapping against his own. He shivered happily.

“Can I hold your hand?” Tsukishima’s face was serious.

Yamaguchi snorted. “Of course.”

Tsukki’s hand folded over his own in a warm embrace that lasted the whole walk back to the dorms.


	2. Tsukishima the flirt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back for more I see?
> 
> ...
> 
> *sigh* me too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What I want: gay snuggles
> 
> What I receive: gay struggles
> 
> Anyway here ya go. This chapter is significantly shorter, but it does contain significantly more smut, so there's that.

Yamaguchi knew he wouldn’t sleep that night. He might not be able to sleep for the rest of his life. He was too horny. He walked beside Tsukki who he had just come out to and whose response was to _come out to Yamaguchi_ in return. It was maddening.

The guy wasn’t letting go of his hand, either. It felt amazing to be held, even in some small way, by his best friend. Yamaguchi knew it was a pathetic thought and curled his lip in disgust at himself. But it got him thinking… hand-holding and Kuroo’s arm around his shoulder earlier… maybe Yamaguchi was a cuddler after all. But did this unheard of display of affection mean that Tsukki wanted to kiss him and do... other things with him, though? Or was he just being a supportive friend after a rough night out? Yamaguchi couldn’t decide whether he wanted to cheer or die.

Was this the thing other gays talked about: falling in love with your straight friend? But Tsukki wasn’t straight. So what did that make this?

His heart whirled. _Stop it._ He reprimanded out of habit for what felt like the millionth time that night. And that wasn’t even counting the past few months. Well, _years_ , if he was honest. But Yamaguchi didn't like being honest.

But why? Why did he have to scold himself and bottle up his feelings when he knew now that he actually had a chance.

His heart jumped into his throat.

Tsukki dragged him along, tightening his fingers around Tadashi’s hand. Not too tight. Just… firm. Comfortable. Yamaguchi’s stomach fluttered.

Should he talk to Tsukishima about this? He panicked. _What if he pulls away?_ Or maybe if Tadashi stayed quiet, they could go on like this forever. He could bask in the safe warmth of false hope for years. That would be enough for him. He would _make it_ enough.

About halfway back, Tsukishima casually pulled his headphones down around his neck. Yamaguchi waited.

“Playlist over?” Yamaguchi kicked a pebble to distract himself from his own quickening pulse.

Tsukishima grunted an affirmation.

Yamaguchi nodded.

Tsukishima didn’t put his headphones back on, which meant that Yamaguchi was supposed to say something. He didn’t.

Tsukishima tapped his index finger against the metal of his headphones, which meant he was nervous. _Join the club, Tsukki._ I’m _about to pass out._ They were still slung around his neck. A very _kissable_ neck. _Get a grip, Tadashi!_

The two rounded a corner and before Yamaguchi knew it, they were standing on the cheap carpet at the door to his dorm room.

“Yam-Yams?” Tsukishima broke the silence.

“Huh?!” Yamaguchi squeaked.

“That’s what Kuroo called you, right?” Tsukishima let go of his hand. Yamaguchi didn’t know how to feel about that.

“Uh, I don’t know! There was a lot happening!” Yamaguchi lied. He liked it when Kuroo called him that. He was ashamed to find that he liked it even more when Tsukishima said it.

“Do… you like it?” Tsukishima shoved his hands into his own pockets and leaned against the wall.

This was a trick question. It had to be. But Yamaguchi couldn’t figure out the trick of it. So he didn’t really answer. “I don’t know.”

Tsukishima looked at him expectantly. He looked at the door.

Yamaguchi realized with a start that he hadn’t moved to open it. He dug around for the keys.

“Do you dislike it?” Tsukishima pressed.

Yamaguchi didn’t like this game. “No?” He admitted, getting frustrated at the distinct lack of keys in his jeans’ pockets. Upon thinking better of it, he clarified, “I don’t hate it.”

Tsukishima nodded thoughtfully.

Yamaguchi found the keys. He fiddled his door open. Tsukishima watched the movement.

“How’re you feeling?” Tsukishima changed the subject.

This was getting weird. They never talked this much unless they were making fun of something. “Um, normal now.” Yamaguchi reassured, opening his door.

He knew that he could easily say he felt bad and needed Tsukishima to stay with him to wait it out, but he didn’t. His liquid confidence from earlier was gone, leaving him with nothing but a small painful pulse near his temples. Manageable. A rejection from Tsukki would not be as manageable. He stayed quiet.

“Okay.”

“See you tomorrow!” Yamaguchi chirped, closing his door behind him before he convinced himself to do something stupid. Like confessing to his best friend.

“Do you like Kuroo?”

Yamaguchi froze.

He opened the door a crack. Tsukishima still leaned against the wall, but he didn’t meet Yamaguchi’s eyes.

“What?” He said, like an idiot.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to tell me. It’s _personal_.” Tsukishima fit his headphones over his ears and quickly stalked away before Yamaguchi registered what had happened.

What. Was. That.

What the hell was happening? _Did_ Yamaguchi like Kuroo? He didn’t know. He’d really liked the attention. Maybe a small part of him did find the guy attractive.

Yamaguchi didn’t want to think about that right now. It was too confusing.

His roommate was still gone and he could still have a nice night to himself. Sure.

***

Half an hour later Yamaguchi triple-checked the blinds and the lock to make sure he wouldn’t be interrupted.

He pulled out the toy drawer, eyeing the contents greedily. It had been too long.

Yamaguchi made an effort for himself this time. He arranged his bedsheets and stripped out of his jeans and underwear, deciding to put on a sleek black pair of briefs. There wasn’t anything special about them to the outside observer, but the fabric blend felt _amazing_ against his skin (he learned the hard way to never wear them out in public. He became too… distractible). Yamaguchi wanted it to be good tonight. Who knew when he would be able to do this again?

He turned his focus back to the toys. His fingers brushed over the gag. Yamaguchi licked his lips. He took it out of the drawer and laid it on the bed along with lube and a blindfold. _God,_ he was already picturing what he was about to do to himself. He was going to be blinded and gagged, filled with his favorite plug.

He picked up his regular plug: a thick, stubby thing with a flared base, perfect for working him open and stretching him wide.

 _No wait._ His eyes caught on a velvet bag. His first sexy purchase. He’d bought it when he didn’t know what he was doing and he still hadn’t used it. Yamaguchi slipped the toy out of the bag, letting it fall into his waiting palm. His fingers dusted over its subtly curved surface, he tried to picture what it would feel like inside of him. It was longer and thinner than his usual, so he would be breached deeper than anything before. Yamaguchi whined, his briefs felt tight.

Unbidden, his mind supplied a deep voice telling him what to do as he sunk into a comforting stupor. He used to push away that fantasy, but when he finally gave into it over this past summer, Yamaguchi felt like he was floating in clouds. He imagined someone tall leaning over his shoulder, lips ghosting over his sensitive ear, _Get on the bed, Tadashi. You’re going to feel so good._

Yamaguchi bit his lip and nodded even though the room was empty.

He put the other toys back and arranged himself on the bed so that he sat on his knees. His hand brushed over his dick. He gasped, surprised how sensitive he was. Oh yeah, it had been way too long.

 _Not yet,_ the voice teased him. _You have to earn it._

“But it’s been months,” He begged quietly. Yamaguchi knew that talking out loud to an empty room made him a weirdo and possibly a loser. But no one was here to judge him. He could do what he wanted. And he wanted to hear himself. The sound of his own pleading fueling the fire. “Please.”

_I want to fuck you first._

Suddenly waiting didn’t seem so bad. “Okay.”

_I don’t think I want you talking anymore._

Yamaguchi hurried to slide the ballgag between his lips. Just as before, the mouthpiece overcrowded his tongue in a pleasantly overwhelming way. When he bit down, the ball pressed roughly into the roof of his mouth. Yamaguchi sighed in pleasure, buckling it behind his head. He tried spitting it out for good measure. No luck. He shivered happily.

 _Good,_ the voice praised.

Tadashi smiled as best he could around the intrusion. He loved being complimented. The blindfold was next. Yamaguchi wanted to be fully helpless and writhing as soon as possible. Plus, it helped with the fantasy since he wouldn’t be able to see that no mystery man was actually in the room with him.

He took his last glance around the room before everything went dark and his fantasy fully took over.

Long, thin fingers ghosted through his hair, just like Tsukishima would do when they took study breaks. Tadashi never knew why the boy petted him like that, but he’d never questioned it, too lost in the pleasure to care.

“That sweater is so cute on you,” the voice started sounding more and more like someone he knew…

Yamaguchi couldn’t argue with his mouth full, so he took the praise.

“I especially like how I can do _this_.”

Yamaguchi leaned back against a wall next to his bed as if someone just pinned him to it. Imaginary teeth nipped at his collarbones. Yamaguchi bit down on the gag, trying to stifle a soft groan. It didn’t work. Noises felt louder in his ears than without the gag at all.

In his mind, long, elegant fingers played with the hem of his sweater, pushing it up so his stomach was exposed to the cool air, tickling the soft skin. But it didn’t stop there, those fingers teased up his body further until his entire chest was on display and the sweater was bunched up at his neck.

Yamaguchi pressed himself against the wall, trying to run away from the honey-colored eyes that followed his every movement. It was no use. He was trapped while those fingers and a mouth attacked his chest.

Yamaguchi let out one soft noise at the thought of his chest being teased even as he begged for a break. The lips and fingers wouldn’t show him mercy, just going and going, playing with him and sucking marks into his skin until he was overcome with sensation.

Yamaguchi liked teasing and denying himself but enough was enough. He couldn’t do much of that tonight, not after the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on. He needed to be filled by more than the gag.

Yamaguchi’s shaky hands found the lube, supplying a good amount into his fingers before setting it aside and fumbling for the plug.

“So eager,” commented a voice that sounded suspiciously like Tsukishima. “So good for me.”

Yamaguchi let out a garbled noise around the gag. _Why did he love hearing his voice through a ball gag? He sounded so… helpless. So vulnerable._ He smeared the lube onto the plug liberally and reached behind himself. He shouldn’t have to prep, he could just go slow and the toy would stretch him on its own. Still, he rubbed some lube across his hole for good measure. The tiny amount of pressure for a split-second felt great.

Yamaguchi sighed as the tip of the toy breached him, only stretching him a little. He had a long way to go. Damn Yamaguchi was really out of practice. He needed to work himself up to taking plugs again. He was so tight after months of no toys. He decided to try something to help his tense muscles:

“Relax, Yammy,” A voice that sounded like Kuroo soothed him.

Yamaguchi wondered whether he liked it or not as he shifted the tip of the toy in and out of his clenched rim. He decided he didn’t love it. He switched to someone else…

“Relax, Tadashi _._ ” Tsukishima’s voice whispered in his ear.

He twitched in his briefs. Hell _yes._ The toy worked in and out slowly, stretching Yamaguchi carefully.

“Come on, I just want to fuck you.” He could hear the smirk in Tsukishima’s voice.

Yamaguchi let out a small moan. The toy sunk in a little deeper as he got excited, widening his knees.

“You want it?” The fantasy teased, daring Yamaguchi to defy.

Tadashi couldn’t bring himself to play games with a toy halfway inside of him. He nodded enthusiastically against the wall, trying to push it in deeper.

“No, no.” Tsukki clicked his tongue in disappointment. “Say it.”

Yamaguchi shivered. He pulled the toy out so that only the tip was inside, he could think clearly again. He tried speaking through the gag. It came out unintelligible. 

Tsukishima laughed at him. “What was that? I didn’t quite hear you. Speak clearly.”

Yamaguchi whined in frustration even as his mind clouded contentedly. He tried again. More indistinguishable sounds.

“I guess I just won’t fuck you. You obviously don’t want it and I won’t do anything to you that you don’t want.” The toy retreated fully from his semi-stretched hole.

Yamaguchi panicked. “Hgnh! Hgnng!”

The toy pressed into him again, burning as it sunk deeper than before. “Huh. Looks like you do want it after all.”

Yamaguchi sighed happily. He arched his back, hoping to convey his gratitude.

He was feeling comfortably loose now as the plug lazily dragged in and out of him.

“I just have one request for you now. Then I’ll let you touch yourself.”

Yamaguchi stilled, listening with bated breath.

“Fuck yourself on it.”

Yamaguchi blushed and bit into the gag, causing it to press further into his mouth. Oh, he liked that.

Tsukishima brushed his fingers into Yamaguchi’s hair comfortingly. “You want to be good, right?”

 _YES._ He did want to be good. He wanted it so badly. He didn’t care if he looked like an idiot or lost some of his dignity, he just wanted Tsukishima to say that again.

Yamaguchi positioned himself in the center of the bed with the base of the toy pressing into the mattress, keeping it inside of him. He placed both hands in front of his knees and moved so that he could lean back and sink down onto the plug.

It was getting difficult to go further now, this was a thicker part and it stretched him wider than he thought it would. It felt. Amazing.

“Hg... hg... hg... hg...” he heard himself vocalize on each gentle thrust downwards. It reached parts of him that his fingers could only graze.

“Faster.”

“Nng” He protested.

“Shh,” Tsukishima played with his chest again. “You want to be a good boy, don’t you?”

Yamaguchi quickened his pace. He was being loud now. He hoped the students living on the other side of the wall wouldn’t hear. The gag was doing nothing to help. All it did was make him sound like some muzzled animal.

He let out a pathetic mewl when the plug shifted and found a way to hit even deeper inside of him. And then it was over the thickest part and sinking in the rest of the way on its own accord, Yamaguchi breathed hard through his nose as it dragged over his sensitive insides. It settled with the flared base barely kissing his rim.

But Tsukishima wasn’t done with him yet. “I think you can take more.” He mused, pushing the toy in further, forcing the base right up against him.

Yamaguchi arched his back, crying out as something deep inside him was prodded.

Tsukishima seemed pleased, fiddling with the plug, causing it to change positions rapidly and push against his walls in a deliciously mean way. Like he was being massaged from the inside-out.

Yamaguchi’s hands gave out and he slumped down face-first, barely catching himself on his elbows. He couldn’t handle the way the plug found new ways to explore. He felt like a science experiment on display, poked in every conceivable way while each reaction was catalogued and noted down in order to take him apart more efficiently next time.

“Ah, ah.” He cooed, shifting the plug around to try to find his most sensitive spots. “Let me play with you a little longer, okay?”

Yamaguchi gasped loudly when the tip of the toy hit against something that made his legs tremble.

“Gotcha,” He whispered, an evil, unadulterated glee dripping from his voice.

Yamaguchi tried to protest but he quickly learned that he wouldn’t have a chance when the toy was yanked out of him and plunged back in again over and over at a punishing pace. It was all he could do to hold himself up so his face didn’t crash into the bed.

Pleasure poured through his veins at the non-stop stimulation. Yamaguchi lost track of where he was.

“You can touch yourself.”

He didn’t need to be told twice. His face smushed against the sheets as his hand flew to his dick, fumbling with the band of his briefs. Being fucked into the mattress didn’t help steady his hand. Tsukishima was apparently getting better aiming and every thrust knocked the wind out of Tadashi’s lungs.

Finally, his fingers dipped into his underwear and he stroked himself so aggressively it was almost painful. Maybe he liked the rough treatment a little, sue him.

“Good, Tadashi. You’re so _good_.” Tsukishima was panting in his ear, pulling Yamaguchi’s hair to force his back into a deep arch.

Tadashi was drooling all over the bed, babbling against the gag, his breath punched out of him every time the toy rammed deep inside of him.

“Do you want to come?” Tsukishima teased.

Yamaguchi pleaded into the bed.

“I can’t hear you.” He chuckled evilly. “Speak clearly.”

Yamaguchi almost cried in defeat. He was literally going to come whether or not Tsukishima wanted him to. He turned his head to the side and panted out “Esh es es esh!”

“That’s better.” Tsukishima twisted the toy and his nerves lit on fire. “Good boy, Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi’s hand worked in earnest until he jerked violently against the bed and came in his briefs.

He collapsed onto his side, sliding off the blindfold, eyes unfocused as he drifted for a few minutes in post-orgasmic bliss before coming-to.

Wow. Okay, so that was a lot to unpack.

He’d just imagined Tsukishima teasing him. And he liked it. A dangerous amount.

***

He had changed and was cleaning up when a text message popped up on his phone screen. It was from Tsukishima, the one he’d just fantasized about. Oh no.

_Can we talk?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway, I usually write these in a sleep-deprived stupor so let me know if there are any mistakes (or if you have writing suggestions. Idk, comments make me smile). Okay, see ya later you crazy kids
> 
> This was supposed to be two chapters but it ain't done yet so we'll see. These boys obviously have more to say to each other. Stay tuned.


	3. Tadashi the brave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In times of distress, Tadashi has to be brave. Tsukishima thinks it's a good look on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sips tea* What's up guys? Glad you could make it. *gestures to an empty seat* I've been waiting for you. <3
> 
> But seriously, I've gotten some comments and they are just the sweetest. Thank you! It really does spur me to write more.
> 
> Apparently I can't stop editing these chapters, so they might look a little different from time to time oops.

Yamaguchi was unprepared to say the least. His heart pounding against his ribs at the realization that the person he’d just shamefully _defiled_ was coming over. In contrast, his head still floated on cloud nine, a leftover effect from one hell of a… um… _'_ _self-care session.'_

He barely had time to grab his phone and type out a reply before a knock echoed through his room.

The phone slipped out of his fingers and back onto his desk. _Why even bother texting, Tsukki?_ He thought with lazy amusement. He couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed right now. Not when he'd cum his brains out under an hour ago.

Yamaguchi looked over himself: he was cleaned up and in fresh underwear but he was distinctly missing pants. Tsukishima and him weren’t on _that_ level of friendship yet.

“Just a second!!” He called, lightly jogging to his dresser to pull out some sweats. He might be sleepy and happy, but his internal need to please Tsukki took priority, so he changed quickly.

Tsukishima huffed loudly, a sound that could be heard through the door. _So impatient,_ he mused. _I wonder what he wants to talk about…_ His heart hammered louder, a sure sign that he would be having a full-blown freak-out under any other circumstances.

Still, Yamaguchi couldn’t help the annoyance that bled into his absent mind. That’s two times today Tsukishima had interrupted his masturbatory self-care time. He was supposed to be alone right now. He was supposed to be blissfully _passed out_ right now.

His eyes caught on the toy drawer still sitting in the middle of his room. “Can’t have that,” He decided. It might be too much to spring on his own heart all at once if he was found out. Tadashi shoved the removable drawer snugly back into the dresser, stopping to drape a shirt over the newly cleaned toys just in case Tsukki was feeling nosy tonight. Which he never was. But with his luck, who knew. Also today kept finding new ways to surprise him, to say the least.

Tsukishima clicked his tongue like a clock counting down. _Mean._ Yamaguchi noted.

Yamaguchi swung open the door. He half-smiled in greeting.

Tsukishima stood, hand raised to knock again. _Rude._ Yamaguchi was beginning to want a good, long sleep. Why was Tsukki here?

There was a lot to think about _without_ the source of his confusion showing up on his doorstep. But something about the slight droop of Tsukishima’s shoulders tugged at his heartstrings. He wasn’t standing up as tall as usual, his feet were a bit closer together, he looked... small. Which wasn’t saying much because he was still taller than Tadashi, but small for Tsukki.

“What’s up?” He yawned, leaning against the doorframe to keep upright.

Tsukishima’s eyes settled on Tadashi’s shoulder. Tadashi followed the gaze. _Oh,_ his sweater had slipped off and the collar now hung lower than was probably modest. Yamaguchi hurriedly pulled it back up. He was starting to feel his nerves again. _Damn. Well, the post-orgasmic break from crushing anxiety was good while it_ lasted.

Tsukishima crossed his arms, looking over Yamaguchi's face before his eyes settled on his lips. “Can I come in or what?” It wasn’t a command and Yamaguchi couldn't believe it. Maybe he needed his ears cleaned. Tsukishima Kei asking _permission_. Maybe pigs would start flying soon, too.

Yamaguchi felt his horniness renew under that intense stare. _Shit. Why am I such a freak?_ He really shouldn’t let him in. It was late and he was tired and--

“Of course.” Yamaguchi stepped aside and gestured a welcome. Tsukishima hesitated before crossing the threshold. _Odd._

Tsukishima seemed more delicate than earlier. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m _fine,_ Tsukki. Promise. Back to normal. Just really tired.”

Tsukishima nodded shortly. He moved to sit on the bed like he always did.

Yamaguchi noticed too late that the ball gag had not made it back to the toy drawer.

A tool of _sin_ \--his sin--sat on his desk, clearly visible from Tsukishima's perspective. Only, he hadn't seen it yet. Yamaguchi dove for his desk chair, grabbing the gag and containing it behind him awkwardly with both hands.

Tsukishima looked at him like he’d gone crazy. “...Thought you were tired.”

Yamaguchi forced a smile. “Got some energy.”

Tsukishima raised both eyebrows, unimpressed. “Kay.”

Yamaguchi twisted his hands around the gag nervously, looking for any excuse to casually walk by the dresser and return it to its home. He was about to ask Tsukki to leave for, like, five minutes when the other spoke up.

“I changed my mind.” Tsukishima started, seemingly too distracted by his own problems to notice Yamaguchi's strange behavior. _Thank God._

“You changed your… I'm sorry what are we talking about?” Yamaguchi tried to arraigned the gag so that the buckle wouldn't clink.

“I changed my mind: I _do_ want to know if you like Kuroo.” He was having trouble meeting Yamaguchi’s eyes. “Romantically.”

Tadashi didn’t know what was going on. Was he trying to set them up? Was that what Kuroo had talked to Tsukishima about? But why? Kuroo had said that he had no intention of stealing Tsukki from him, but did that count for the other way around, too? Oh God what if Kuroo liked him? That would explain the arm-around-the-shoulder thing. But wait, what would that mean for--

“Tadashi?”

Yamaguchi’s heart flipped. “What?”

“You spaced out.” Tsukishima looked concerned again. Wow, this was a crazy night. He'd made a ton of new friends, Tsukki seemed worried about him, Kuroo might like him, and Bokuto… actually, Yamaguchi had no idea what Bokuto’s deal was.

“Haha… Yeah I guess I was.” He fumbled the gag behind him, trying to keep the straps from falling into Tsukki's line of sight.

“So...?” Tsukishima looked down, pretending to inspect his fingernails.

Was this something Yamaguchi wanted to talk to Tsukki about right now, his romantic interests? No, absolutely not. But… he didn’t like lying, either. He didn’t like the directness of this conversation. It wasn’t Tsukki’s regular style. It made Yamaguchi uncomfortable. He liked floating in the sea of grey areas. Making decisions was hard.

“I don’t know, Tsukki…” He answered honestly. He really didn’t know if he liked Kuroo like that. He sure as hell liked the attention the guy gave him at the party, though. But then again, it was _Tsukishima's_ voice, not Kuroo's that got him off not even an hour ago. _Disgusting._

Tsukishima nodded slowly, like he was trying hard to be understanding. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” He stood up suddenly, striding towards the door. What? Was he leaving now? Yamaguchi couldn't keep up. He gripped the gag tighter.

“Wait,” He didn’t know why he said it. One minute he was trying to get Tsukki out and the next he didn’t want him to leave. _Make up your mind, Tadashi!!!_

So he did.

“I, uh, just wait.” He didn’t want Tsukishima to leave like this. He wanted to fully answer the question first.

Tsukishima looked him up and down. He took a couple of steps away from the door, back into the conversation. But instead of settling into his usual place on the bed, he crossed to Yamaguchi who frantically rearranged his arms to hide the gag. _I’m an idiot. Why did I call him back?!_

Tsukishima leaned against the desk, a perfectly normal distance from his friend, but with what was behind his back, Yamaguchi felt dirty.

“Why am I waiting?” Tsukishima said quietly.

Tadashi hated making decisions. He wanted to stay in his safe bubble where everything was the same and he and Tsukki could sit together at lunch and he could ignore his feelings and he was able to dodge any question he didn't want to answer and Tsukki would look miffed, but he wouldn't complain. But now? Yamaguchiwanted to clear this up for some reason. He didn't want Tsukki to think he liked Kuroo. He took a deep breath. He was going to be brave. “I wanted to answer the question better.”

Tsukishima redirected his eyes to his shoes. “I already said you don’t have--”

“I didn’t lie to you. I really don’t know. The answer is _I don’t know,_ Tsukki. But I _do_ know that I probably won’t date him. So if you’re trying to get the two of us together, it won’t work.” There. The question was answered. He didn’t have to say anymore if he didn’t want to.

Tsukishima was quiet. He nodded thoughtfully.

“Does that answer your question?” He gently urged, letting Tsukishima know he was done speaking.

Tsukishima didn’t answer. Then he sucked a breath in and straightened up. He shrugged. “Guess so.”

“Is that what Kuroo talked to you about?” Yamaguchi had to know. Was his crush and best friend of over 10 years trying to set him up with someone else?

“What? No.” He seemed genuinely surprised.

“Oh.” Yamaguchi breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Why?”

“I thought that’s why you were asking.” Yamaguchi admitted, his breathing returning to normal. “I thought you were trying to set us up.”

Tsukishima seemed to be putting puzzle-pieces together and finally getting it. “Oh. _Oh._ Of _course_ not!” His energy seemed to be returning as a familiar distaste creeped into his voice while talking about Kuroo. Tadashi had heard that before, it was comfortable. “Even if he did ask, I would never try to set you up with that loser.”

Yamaguchi wondered where the sudden bitterness came from, but he didn’t inquire after it. He guessed it made sense; Tsukishima had often talked his ear off about that group of guys and how much he didn't like them. Yamaguchi found himself laughing. His emotions were all over the place this evening, but now he was just relieved.

Tsukishima snickered along.

All was well.

“Can I hold your hand?”

It appeared not all good moment could last. Yamaguchi panicked, clenching down on the gag currently in his hands. “Um…”

Tsukishima immediately retreated, letting him know it was okay.

“No, I want to, I just…” _Great going, Tadashi. Where were you heading with that one?_

“Yeah?”

“I, um… my hands are sweaty...?” He scooted away slightly.

Tsukishima cocked his head to the side in analytical confusion. “Why are you lying to me? You don’t have to.” He considered. It wasn't a question for Tadashi. More like Tadashi was a puzzle he was privately working on and Tsukki was talking through the facts out loud.

Yamaguchi made a silent vow to get better at lying.

“Doesn’t matter." Tsukishima concluded. "I have another question.”

“Hm?”

Tsukishima’s eyes darted down to Yamaguchi’s lips again.

_You might as well just kiss me. I’m already way too into you and this teasing is making it exponentially worse._

He reached his hand out and gently, almost lovingly, brushed his fingers against the corner of Tadashi’s mouth. “Here…” He gave the same treatment to the other side as well. “And here.” His fingers stayed at the corner of Yamaguchi's lips. “You have marks."

Yamaguchi closed his eyes and leaned into the contact.

Tsukishima cupped his cheek.

His eyes snapped open and he pulled back, fingernails digging into the gag. Hot shame flooded Yamaguchi’s face. He wasn’t supposed to feel like this. He wasn’t supposed to do this. “Sorrysorrysorry--!”

Tsukishima cut him off softly. “No. Don’t... worry about it.”

Maybe Yamaguchi imagined the breathiness in Tsukishima’s voice.

He certainly didn’t imagine the way Tsukishima ghosted both sets of fingers across Yamaguchi’s cheekbones. He closed his eyes again.

“Do… you like this?” A hint of wonderment tinged Tsukishima’s silky voice.

It was all Yamaguchi could do to stop the soft sounds trying to escape him at every light caress. He nodded, biting his lip. His face burned. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter.

He could feel Tsukishima leaning over his shoulder. His addled brain didn’t register the movement until Yamaguchi felt the whisper directly into his ear, “Should I keep going?”

He couldn’t stop the needy whimper at his fantasy evidently coming to life. It wasn’t loud, but that small noise seemed to ring out in the small room for several minutes. Yamaguchi froze like a deer in headlights.

Tsukishima's fingers withdrew, Yamaguchi already mourning the warmth.

Oh God. Oh no. He’d fucked up. He made it weird.

“Look at me?” Tsukishima asked, quiet, as if any loud noise would make the other boy shatter.

Yamaguchi shook his head no. He didn’t want to admit what happened and he also didn’t want it to be over.

“Tadashi? I just want to talk about this before we do anything else.”

_‘Anything else?’_

Really?

Yamaguchi cautiously cracked one eye. “You’re… not leaving?”

Tsukishima’s honied gaze swam into view. It held Tadashi gently, reassuringly, like his fingers had. “Of _course_ not. I want to ask another question.”

Yamaguchi opened his eyes. He relaxed. But only slightly. “Someone’s full of questions tonight.” He snickered softly.

Tsukishima smirked in return. “Not my fault. Someone’s full of answers that I want.” He poked Yamaguchi in the forehead for good measure. This was good. They were back to normal.

Tension melted out of Tadashi’s shoulders and he looked at Tsukishima square in the face. _Be brave, be brave, be brave._ He swallowed his nerves. “So what’s your question?”

Tsukishima adjusted his glasses. “What are those marks from? Are you okay?”

“Yeah! I’m fine!” Yamaguchi spluttered, too quickly to be trustworthy.

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow.

“...Do they really look that bad?”

Tsukishima pulled out his phone and snapped a picture before turning the screen so that Yamaguchi could see.

Oh no. They were quite obvious.

Yamaguchi sighed. “Well that’s embarrassing.” He didn't know what else there was to say.

“Do they hurt?”

Yamaguchi tested this. He opened and closed his mouth experimentally. “No,” He confirmed. “I didn’t even know they were there.”

“Where in the world did you get them from?”

Yamaguchi flushed. He thumbed at the gag behind his back. “I--It has to do with one of the things I don’t want to tell you about yet.” He stated firmly.

Tsukishima frowned. “Okay. But then you have to promise me something.”

Yamaguchi looked up at him.

“It isn’t some weird abusive thing, right? Like, nobody’s hurting you?”

Yamaguchi burst out laughing, startling Tsukishima.

“What’s so funny? I’m trying to be a good friend!” He exclaimed, still very earnest.

Yamaguchi couldn’t stop snickering, even if his heart hurt a little at the word _friend._ “No! It’s just--” He couldn’t finish the sentence. Tsukishima's Very Serious Face(TM) was too much.

“Yeah?” Tsukishima looked so confused it sent Yamaguchi into another spiral of laughter.

“I--I--I did it to myself!” He explained between giggles, calming down a little. “It was an accident.”

Tsukishima looked more concerned than ever. “How?”

Yamaguchi chewed the inside of his cheek, still trying to calm down. “I’ll tell you some other time.” He promised.

“Okay, just… you’re alright?”

“Yes,” Yamaguchi reassured him.

“...Okay.” Tsukishima was forcing himself to be satisfied with that answer, Yamaguchi could tell.

He was so helplessly fond. “So, what else?”

Tsukishima paused, like he’d just remembered he hadn’t studied for an exam. Which was something that Tsukki had never experienced before, so Yamaguchi treasured it.

Yamaguchi patiently waited for the other to get his bearings.

Tsukishima fiddled with his sleeve. “Do you like me touching you? Like-- like, I was?”

Yamaguchi nodded enthusiastically before he could convince himself to lie again. His heart was telling him to jump up and hug the other man, but at his point he had pretty much accepted his arms were going to remain unusable until he could put the gag away when Tsukishima left. _So lame._ He tried to convince Tsukki with his voice, “I like it _so_ much.”

Tsukishima’s cheeks dusted pink.

Yamaguchi swallowed. _He looks so good like that._

Tsukishima slowly and deliberately crowded into Yamaguchi’s space, carefully placing his thumb on the seam of Yamaguchi’s lips. Long fingers cradled Tadashi’s neck reverently.

Tadashi sighed happily through his nose, leaning into the contact.

“Can I… can I touch you more?”

Yamaguchi couldn’t believe this was real life. He hummed against Tsukishima’s thumb in affirmation.

Tsukishima clicked his tongue in mock-disappointment. “Tadashi, I’m going to need explicit consent.”

Good, Tsukishima was teasing him. He was used to this. Two could play that game. “Well then you need to ask me better. Stop being so vague.”

Tsukishima scoffed, holding in laughter. “I could say the same to you.”

“You could. But you're the one who started it.” Yamaguchi snickered. He liked this game a lot more than when they tiptoed around each other.

Tsukishima withdrew his hands, leaving Yamaguchi in the cold. “And I can finish it, too.”

Yamaguchi pouted.

Tsukishima ran his eyes up and down his friend's face before giving in. “Okay,” He complained, adjusting his glasses. “I would like to touch your face, neck, hair and maybe ears with my hands. Can I do that?” There was a matter-of-fact air to his wavering voice.

He screamed internally. _It's okay it's okay it's okay--_

"Yamaguchi?"

“Please touch me!" He squeaked.

Tsukishima didn't need to be told twice. He dove back in, cupping the other's jaw gently and running his thumb along Yamaguchi's bottom lip.

Yamaguchi opened his mouth a little, fully intending to give Tsukishima more lip to touch.

“Shit, Tadashi.”

Tsukishima tilted Yamaguchi’s head back, stroking down the expanse of his neck and back up with a gentleness Yamaguchi never hoped Tsukki would give him.

Elegant fingers traced his adam's apple and Yamaguchi swallowed against them. He shivered at the pressure. Then the fingers shifted to massage the tired muscles at the back of his neck, easily drawing enthusiastic compliance out of Yamaguchi's body.

Those same fingers travelled upwards to his hair, pressing at his scalp. Yamaguchi pushed back against it, needing more contact. Wanting everything Tsukishima would give him.

The hands worked up his head, molding him this way and that in order to reach every sensitive spot, every sore muscle. This continued until Tsukishima had covered every last inch of his neck, scalp, and face. A comfortable warmth settled over Yamaguchi's head and shoulders at the loving contact.

When he finally pulled away, Tadashi’s shoulders sagged and his head hung forward limply.

“Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima whispered.

“Hmgm?” He flexed his neck and, with great difficulty, hoisted his head up to look with unfocused eyes at the man before him. He could live in this moment forever.

“Can I kiss you?”

His heart dropped into his shoes. Suddenly he wanted Tsukki to leave. “No.” He pulled back.

“Oh.” Tsukishima removed his hands, slipping them into his pockets. “Okay.” The hurt in his voice was evident. Yamaguchi couldn't leave him like that. He at least owed Tsukki an explanation.

“Wait, no, I just…” Yamaguchi drew in a shaky breath. He had to be brave again. Wow, so many times in one night. He didn't know how many more times he could be brave before his heart gave out and he went full-panic mode. “It would give false hope.” He clarified shakily.

“Oh.” Tsukishima’s eyes widened. “Oh no.”

Yamaguchi's body clenched in terror. He’d really fucked up this time. But he wasn't going to lose his best friend over this. “We can just pretend this never happened!” He insisted even as his heart seized up and tension gathered near the back of his neck, undoing all of Tsukishima's careful work from a moment ago.

“Tadashi.” Tsukishima tried to cradle his head but Yamaguchi pulled away, eyes glued to the floor.

“Please don’t call me that.” He sniffed, trying not to cry out all of the water that Bokuto and Kuroo made him drink at the party.

“Okay.” Tsukishima took his hands away. “False hope for what?” He prodded.

Yamaguchi hung his head in defeat. “I can’t.” He sniffed again, willing the emotion out of his voice. “Don’t make me say it just to shoot me down. I can’t do that.”

“I wasn’t--”

“I can’t kiss you without wanting to be _with_ you.” Yamaguchi explained to the ground, unable to meet Tsukishima’s eyes.

“But you _are_ with me.” Tsukishima fumbled. "I'm here, I want to touch you. I--" Yamaguchi couldn’t take it.

“I mean I want us to be _boyfriends_ , Tsukki!” Yamaguchi shouted.

He kept his head down. He couldn’t move. He would not be able to live through being rejected by the one person who knew him best. Tsukishima wasn’t saying anything.

This was so bad.

“Wait,” Yamaguchi tried to salvage the pieces. “We can still be friends. We can go back to the way things were!” He pleaded. “I just don’t want to lose you.”

“Shut up, Yamaguchi.” Tsukishima’s voice sounded weird. He sounded… 

Yamaguchi risked a glance.

Tsukishima was hugged himself around the middle, face fully pink. His mouth hung open in a silent _I can’t believe this is really happening._

“Well, _I_ want us to be boyfriends, too.” He huffed, straightening his glasses, his face still pink.

Yamaguchi sat up, unsure of what was going on. “Are you making fun of me?” He croaked out.

Tsukishima wrinkled his eyebrows. “No? Besides,” he smirked. “You’ve basically been my boyfriend for years.”

Yamaguchi’s head was spinning, trying to catch up.

“I mean, we already do all the stuff that boyfriends do.” Tsukishima smiled. “Right?”

“Um, no.” Tadashi reminded him. “We don’t kiss or have sex. I’m pretty sure boyfriends do those things.”

Tsukishima thought. “Not all of them do those things. Some people are asexual or aromantic, Yamaguchi. Don’t be stupid.”

Yamaguchi couldn’t believe his ears. Something he thought he would never be able to have had been here the whole time?

“-- _I_ would want to do those things with you, but that doesn’t invalidate my point.” Tsukishima finished, oblivious to Yamaguchi’s inner mini-crisis.

“...Tsukki?” He began shakily.

Tsukishima locked intense eyes onto Tadashi who shivered under this new gaze and what it could mean.

“Will you be my boyfriend?”

“Of course, Tadashi.” He smiled.

Yamaguchi slouched back against the chair, a giant weight off his chest.

Tsukishima approached him. “Now can I kiss you?”

Yamaguchi nodded.

Tsukishima looked down at him excitedly. Elegant fingers tilted Yamaguchi’s chin up, guiding their mouths together.

Tsukishima’s lips were chapped but with an underlying softness. He hooked his fingers behind Yamaguchi’s neck, urging him to sit up. He followed obediently, back straightening to attention. Yamaguchi cautiously smudged his tongue against the seal of Tsukishima’s lips and soon they were open for him and the blond was licking inside Yamaguchi’s mouth, making his eyes roll back.

Tsukishima left Yamaguchi’s lips to kiss along his neck as his hand slid to Yamaguchi’s shoulders and he settled down on top of his lap. Yamaguchi groaned at the feeling of Tsukishima on top of him. The weight felt comforting in a way he couldn’t quite place. Yamaguchi wanted to hold him, but his hands only tightened on the straps behind him.

Tsukishima seemed to have the same idea because his hands travelled down Yamaguchi’s arms. Tadashi was too distracted by the tongue in his mouth to care.

Tsukki's hands closed over the silicone ball. Confused, he pulled away from the kiss to inspect his findings by leaning over Tadashi’s shoulder to pear behind his back. “What is that?”


	4. Kei the unforeseeable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stunning conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I initially started writing this just because it was harmless fun, but I ended up absolutely loving this story! Thank you guys for reading! I'm currently planning a sequel for these boys, but we'll see if that gets out of my brain and onto the (metaphorical) paper.
> 
> Okay, this took forever to come out because I wanted to make it good for both you guys and my own personal satisfaction! <3 (also school and work got a lot harder but we’re not gonna talk about that)

There was nowhere to hide. Tsukki had clearly felt the gag.

So Yamaguchi pulled out his last hope: playing dumb.

“Huh?”

The fingers on Yamaguchi loosened and Tsukishima sat back to gawk. It didn’t last long. When he saw what must have been evident Liar Face on Yamaguchi, his expression shifted quickly to a deep scowl. Yamaguchi couldn’t stop his eyes from zeroing-in on the plush skin of Tsukki’s bottom lip as it stuck out.

 _Cute..._

He was like a little kid whose parents wouldn’t believe he actually saw an alien in the backyard. “What do you mean 'huh?!' You’re obviously trying to hide it!”

_Shit..._

Tsukishima wound his hands around Yamaguchi again, prying open the protective wall of fingers to reveal and yank the gag away. But Yamaguchi wouldn’t be beaten. Not like this. He struggled, trying not to be distracted by their chests rubbing together. _So close… Get a grip, Tadashi!_

“Why--are--you--?” Tsukishima gritted through his teeth as they fought over the toy. To any third party, it would have looked ridiculous. Yamaguchi thought it was pretty ridiculous already.

Despite his best efforts, Tsukishima worked the gag loose and Yamaguchi was officially out of ideas. Except for one. He surged forward, pressing their mouths together. They had barely gotten to this new territory of _things boyfriends do_ , but at this point he was desperate for anything that would distract Tsukki enough for Yamaguchi to decide what to do next.

It appeared Tsukishima had not anticipated this. A muffled “mmph!” vibrated against Yamaguchi’s mouth as the other’s hands dropped, leaving the toy alone. _Score!_ Tsukishima’s lips opened for him easily and a pleasant tingling rooted itself in the back of Tadashi’s brain. _Truly a win-win situation. Good idea, me._ He thought groggily.

Tsukishima made an almost imperceptibly small, happy noise in his throat and Yamaguchi discovered something dominant in the pit of his stomach flare to life. He kissed harder, chasing Tsukishima’s noises, which a delighted Yamaguchi found he could coax out of his best friend with relative ease. _Wow. Who knew?_ He used his tongue to press down harshly in the other’s mouth and the noises jumped up an octave. Yamaguchi’s head was spinning. He needed a minute.

He detached his tongue from Tsukishima's throat in order to catch his breath. He peered curiously into honey eyes, which was hard because his glasses were slightly fogged over. “Tsukki,” he panted quietly, trying to put his scrambled thoughts into words. “You sound pretty?”

Tsukishima leaned back and Yamaguchi was delighted to see that his cheeks were flushed and not just from exertion, like Yamaguhi had seen in volleyball practice a million times before. This was something completely different.

Tsukishima crossed his arms and schooled his lips into a hard line, but he wouldn’t meet Yamaguchi’s eyes. “Um, okay…?” He scratched at the back of his head, blushing furiously.

When he finally met Yamaguchi’s stare, his eyebrows curving upwards in a silent plea for more. Yamaguchi couldn’t believe this was real. _Tsukishima Kei_ was enjoying his advances? Now _this_ he could get used to.

Before Yamaguchi knew what he was doing, he twisted and attached his lips to Tsukishima’s neck. He’d been wanting a taste all night. Elegant fingers flew up to clutch at the back of Tadashi’s sweater, drawing handfuls of fabric into his fists. But they didn’t tug him away. In fact… Tsukishima seemed to be hugging him closer. 

_Wow, okay._ Tadashi _loved_ this.

The feeling of Tsukishima hanging onto his sweater for dear life while Yamaguchi got to lick and suck and generally taste the soft skin of his neck. Once he got control of himself, Yamaguchi abruptly slowed his assault and determined to make Tsukki feel good. He explored, teasingly tracing a wet stripe up a tendon. Tsukishima spasmed on top of him. But no noises. Not good enough.

Yamaguchi licked along, watching for reactions. Tsukishima had been quiet for too long. He was about to lose hope until he happened upon a spot that made Tsukishima’s breathing pick up. Yamaguchi licked it again. Tsukishima’s hands tightened in his shirt. Yamaguchi considered this, then gently grazed his teeth along it. Tsukishima’s hips stuttered against his stomach. Yamaguchi bit lightly. “Ya--Yama-- wait.”

Yamaguchi panicked, immediately retreating to take stock of his partner’s expression. He was delighted to find Tsukishima’s glasses hanging crookedly off the end of his nose. “Is everything okay, Tsukki?”

He swallowed, straightening his glasses (which Yamaguchi found disappointing). “Um, yes. I just thought I should warn you--” He bit his lip, cutting himself off. He sighed, struggling to continue.

Tadashi was so in love with this man. He would wait forever for Tsukishima to find his words. He wouldn’t mind waiting.

“My neck is… sensitive.” He admitted, blush turning his ears pink.

Yamaguchi snickered. “Yeah, no offense Tsukki, but I could tell.”

Tsukishima straightened up and huffed, lip sticking out again.

Yamaguchi giggled, he couldn’t help himself. But then Tsukishima’s tongue was tracing Yamaguchi’s bottom lip and he fell back into a comfortably fuzzy headspace, pliant in Tsukishima’s care. _Well the hint of dominance was nice while it lasted,_ he thought as Tsukishima fisted his hand in the front of Yamaguchi’s sweater, yanking him to attention.

“Nice try,” He growled, sending a spark of excitement down Yamaguchi’s spine. Tsukishima stood and Yamaguchi tried to hide his pout at the sudden emptiness of his lap. Tsukishima grinned, hauling Yamaguchi to his feet by the sweater. He struggled to balance for a moment without the use of his arms, Tsukishima helping to steady him. Yamaguchi almost didn’t notice when Tsukishima tried to turn him around, grasping at his hands again.

Instead of being found out, Yamaguchi crushed his back into a wall instead, sandwiching the toy between the hard surface and himself. Somewhere deep in the hidden, logical part of his brain, he didn’t know why he was hiding the gag anymore. Tsukishima had tasted almost every inch of his mouth by now, but he still felt that Tsukki wouldn’t like knowing. Or worse: that he would think he was pathetic and leave. But despite all of that, Yamaguchi wanted to show him. It scared him how much he wanted Tsukishima to know these things about him. Things he’d sworn no one would find out. He pushed himself close to the wall.

The blond hesitated, inspecting Yamaguchi with surprised intrigue. “If you really don’t want me to know,” He picked at his fingernails. “I’ll stop.”

Oh no, another decision. “I-- uh--” He really did want to tell Tsukki about it. But what if… “I’m embarrassed.” He said honestly.

Tsukishima thought for a moment. “Okay.” Yamaguchi could see his eyes light up behind his glasses as a thought occurred. _Uh oh._ “That’s not an answer.”

That was true. He had avoided answering and left the decision up to Tsukki. Again. Except it was different this time. Tsukki wasn’t letting him get away with it.

“Give me a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ please.” He drawled, moving closer. _Goddamn, if I didn’t know better I’d think you were as horny as me._ Well, he obviously didn’t know Tsukki as well as he’d thought if he couldn’t tell that these… urges… were mutual. _Huh._

“Well…” Okay, he had a risky plan. But it might be exactly what he needed in order to show Tsukki this side of him. Tsukishima was either going to love it or hate it and he didn’t know which. But he wanted to show Tsukki this side of himself. Shit, Tsukki was _asking_ him to. “Yes, I want you to see.”

Tsukishima nodded, waiting for a reveal that wasn’t going to come.

Yamaguchi wasn’t done. “But… I may need some ‘convincing’ …from you?” He hoped to God that Tsukki would catch the way he arched invitingly against the wall.

He smirked, sliding into Tadashi’s space. _Oh thank fuck._ “So let me get this straight,” he mused, leaning forward until his hands slapped the wall on either side of Yamaguchi’s shoulders, caging Yamaguchi in. _Yes, please._ “You’re asking me to somehow ‘convince’ you to show me what you’ve got behind your back?”

Yamaguchi nodded, pressing himself flat against the wall. This was way hotter than he’d planned for. His face was on fire and his heart was currently trying to fly out of his chest.

“Now, what would you be hiding that needs me to convince you like this?”

Yamaguchi shuddered. Tsukki was too smart. He knew that. Whatever this 20-Questions approach was, Tsukishima might figure out what the gag was before Yamaguchi even had a chance to show him. Which might actually be better since Yamaguchi’s fingers had started shaking anyway. He looked at the ground.

“Tadashi,” It was the start of a command.

He squirmed happily, itching to comply even before he knew what Tsukki wanted.

“Look at me.”

His eyes slowly crept back to meet Tsukishima’s intense gaze.

“Good.”

A zing of pleasure shot up his neck at the praise. He whimpered, squeezing himself tightly to the wall.

Tsukishima’s eyes widened.

Yamaguchi fought against the urge to close his eyes and escape the spell Tsukishima was casting. Because there was no way just his _voice_ was affecting him this _much_. It had to be a spell. Some sort of magic. Because he couldn’t move under this analyzing gaze. But Yamaguchi wanted to be found out. It scared him how much he wanted it.

A hand twined into Yamaguchi’s hair, thoughtfully twisting a lock around and around in his long fingers. “Do you like being good?”

Tadashi couldn’t stand being the center of attention for so long. He was about to explode and he didn’t know whether that was a good or a bad thing. He certainly liked how it felt. Everything was so intense, from the wall holding him up to Tsukishima’s hands caging him in to the way he looked like he wanted to devour Yamaguchi whole. Tadashi nodded. Tsukki’s hand buried itself in his hair, petting gently. He leaned his head forward to give more access.

“You like being petted and you like being good.” He mused, clearly wanting Tadashi to hear. “You’re like a dog.” He concluded, a smirk audible in his voice.

Yamaguchi had no idea why he enjoyed Tsukishima unravelling him like a puzzle so much. Maybe he was a little flattered because he knew Tsukishima used those same deduction skills on things that were important to him, like volleyball and difficult homework problems.

Was Tadashi important, too?

The hand in his hair stopped moving. “Are you okay?”

“What? Why?” Yamaguchi was about to retreat when--

“You’re shaking.”

“Huh?” He took stock of his body. Sure enough, he was struggling to stay upright. “Weird.”

“Do you… want to lean against me?”

Yamaguchi nodded, gingerly placing his forehead on Tsukishima’s offered shoulder. He let himself relax into the soft petting and physical support.

Somehow this felt more intimate than anything they were doing before. Like Tsukishima was _there_ for him, not just teasing or riling him up.

Yamaguchi sighed contentedly.

Tsukishima let his fingers travel further, trailing down Yamaguchi’s neck before sliding back up. Yamaguchi’s eyes were somewhere between open and closed and he wasn’t paying attention to anything else except the points of contact Tsukishima gifted him with.

“Do you want to stop?” Tsukishima asked suddenly.

Yamaguchi was about to say ‘no of course not I’ve wanted this for years’ but he took a deep breath. He had to think about this. The week had been so long. His limbs were aching with fatigue. Did he want to take a break? They were boyfriends now. Tsukishima would be here later if he wanted to do this again another day. It wasn't like this was a time-limited offer. But the excitement in the pit of his stomach buzzed aggressively and he knew he wouldn’t be able to get to sleep right now.

“No.” Tadashi decided. “I want to keep going.”

“Me too,” He agreed.

But Tsukishima didn’t keep going.

The silence stretched on for almost a minute and Yamaguchi would have fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the palpable tension.

After a moment, he detached himself from Tsukki and looked up weakly. “...Um?”

“I’m trying to think of a safeword.” He said, as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.

Yamaguchi swallowed. _Oh._ He liked the sound of that. “Why doesn’t ‘no’ work?”

Tsukishima wrinkled his nose. “Not good enough, judging by how you like to… be yourself… during this stuff.”

Yamaguchi knit his eyebrows. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?” He scoffed.

Tsukishima sighed in slight exasperation. “You send mixed-messages, Tadashi.” He released Yamaguchi and leaned back, hand on his hip. “You look all embarrassed and start hiding your face but then when I ask, you want to keep going.”

Yamaguchi slumped. Oh God, did he do that? That sounded really confusing for anyone to deal with. “I’m sor--”

“Which _isn’t a problem_ (andisactuallyreallycute) until you legitimately want me to stop. So, I just need to know when that is.” Tsukishima explained.

Yamaguchi rubbed his eyes and took in this new information. It seemed like a good way to communicate, especially if his body was going to keep reacting without his permission. “How about when I say ‘milkshake’ that means stop for real?”

Tsukishima looked down his nose at Yamaguchi, a slight grin tugging at his cheek. Crap, was he being made fun of again?

Suddenly Yamaguchi was unsure of every life choice he’d ever made. “Or--”

“Sounds good.” Tsukishima’s fingers pressed suddenly into his scalp, and Yamaguchi collapsed back onto Tsukishima’s shoulder. _Guess I didn’t need to worry after all._

He pushed into the sensation, drawing a satisfied hum from Tsukishima.

“You really are like a dog.” He noted, a hint of curiosity in his voice. “I wonder what other things I can find out about you.”

Tadashi heated up. “Tsukki!”

“What?” Tsukishima’s fingers stilled.

Yamaguchi panted, recovering. He really liked how quickly Tsukishima was discovering every one of his secrets but it might become quite unfair soon if he found many more. But a thought of Tsukishima knowing exactly how to take him apart popped into his head. He shivered and his pants tightened. “It’s embarrassing.” He conceded.

“Do you like being embarrassed?”

Another kink easily discovered. “Y--yes! Tsukki!”

Fingernails scraped along his scalp. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed. One of these days you’re going to tell me every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done and I’m going to watch you turn red.”

Yamaguchi bit his lip to stop the outright moan threatening to push out of his throat. Tsukishima humiliating him on purpose? Just to make Yamaguchi blushy and horny? Oh wow, he hadn’t even considered that before but now he couldn’t get it out of his head. Maybe Tsukki would even order him around and--

Tsukishima pressed himself against Tadashi, pinning him to the wall and yanking him out of his thoughts. “Yamaguchi?”

“Hm?” He said dreamily.

“You’re spacing out again.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“What were you thinking about?” He asked gently.

Was the room suddenly blazing hot or was that just Tadashi? “What you just said. You... embarrassing me.”

He could hear the evil grin on Tsukishima’s face. “Did you like it?”

Yamaguchi squeaked. Against the wall, he felt immobile in the best way. It made him want Tsukishima to use his hands and mouth on every inch of him. But he also felt comfortably held, his weight supported completely by Tsukishima. And when Tsukki ground against his hip, Yamaguchi let out a soft “hmhh.” The only thing he could complain about was his own hands digging into his back… hold on.

“Tsukki, wait.”

Tsukishima stilled.

He shifted against the wall. “I’m ready to show you now.”

But Tsukki didn’t move. Instead, his knee pressed between Yamaguchi’s thighs and whispered directly into his ear. “But Tadashi, I’m not done _convincing_ you yet.”

His mind buzzed happily. “O… kay…” He sighed out.

Tsukishima slowly rocked his leg against Yamaguchi’s hardening dick. It was through his pants and there was no rhythm, but the fact that it was _Tsukishima_ pushed Yamaguchi’s buttons more than any physical sensation ever could.

Yamaguchi felt noises bubble up inside his chest and knew if he let them out, he was going to be loud again. At least he could muffle himself in Tsukishima’s shoulder.

But that plan was soon rendered obsolete when Tsukishima’s fingers encircled a handful of hair and pulled gently and Yamaguchi’s head followed, tilting up to the ceiling.

“ _Haaahh!_ ”

Tsukishima paused.

Tadashi tried to retreat but the hand in his hair didn’t budge.

“Yamaguchi.”

“Y--yeah?”

“You don’t have to do that.” He sounded emotionally distant, like he was gathering data during some sort of experiment.

“Do what…?” He asked to the ceiling, unable to move. Like a fool. He should be able to figure out what Tsukishima was asking, but his mind was drawing a blank.

Tsukishima hesitated. “Make noises to make me feel better. You don’t have to.”

“Um,” Yamaguchi felt hot. “I can’t help it...?”

“Really?” He pulled Yamaguchi’s hips down roughly against his knee.

“Ts--Ts--ukk--” He choked out. No wonder Tsukishima thought he was faking it. This was ridiculous. He had to cover his mouth somehow or he would never live this down.

“ _What is it?_ ” Tsukishima teased.

Yamaguchi knew that tone. He’d heard it every time Tsukishima pointed out that Hinata really _was_ stupid or when he’d get under Kageyama’s skin.

Tadashi was being mocked.

He was distressed to find that it turned him on. 

“Tadashi,” He sounded downright evil. “ _I can’t quite hear you._ ”

Another harsh grind of Tsukishima’s thigh and Yamaguchi’s mouth fell open, letting out an embarrassingly high-pitched keen he’d been biting his tongue to hold in. The hand in his hair oriented him to face Tsukishima again, yanking deliciously.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted to touch you?” Tsukishima said, the teasing gone and replaced with breathless honesty.

Yamaguchi couldn’t concentrate. His brain was melting out of his ears. “...No?”

Tsukishima smeared his tongue into Yamaguchi’s open mouth, silencing a moan as his hair was yanked again. Yamaguchi’s eyes rolled back at the combination of sensations. He didn’t have the brainpower for this right now. The hand twisting roughly in his hair sparked pleasure down his spine. The tongue in his mouth ate up every noise he made. And the most overwhelming thing, Tsukishima’s knee working him through his pants in a way that made him quiver.

When their lips separated, Yamaguchi immediately found himself lost in honey-colored eyes. Tsukishima took pity on him and slowed his assault, kissing more gently. Comforting with a steady drag of his tongue against Yamaguchi’s. Tadashi sighed through his nose.

Tsukishima’s fingers crept behind Yamaguchi’s back and felt around the gag. “Silicone? Yamaguchi, is this a sex-toy?”

Yamaguchi tensed. _How in the world does he not know what it is?_

Tsukishima tugged at the gag.

Yamaguchi squeezed his eyes shut and let go, dropping his hands to his sides. Tsukishima pulled it into the open air, retreating and leaving Tadashi collapsed against the wall.

Yamaguchi risked a glance.

The sight of Tsukishima inspecting his gag made Yamaguchi want to run out of the room. He wasn’t even doing anything, just looking at it and turning it over in his hands. His expression was unreadable.

“Uh,” Yamaguchi said, trying to break the silence.

Tsukishima met his eyes with that look again. Like he was trying to fit puzzle pieces into place.

Nervous laughter bubbled out of Yamaguchi. “So…”

“It’s a ball gag.” Tsukishima stated.

Yamaguchi nodded shortly, wringing his hands.

“...For you?”

“Who else?” He picked at his sleeve.

Tsukishima shrugged. He went back to examining the gag.

In preparation for his inevitable passing-out from humiliation (and not the good kind), he crossed to the bed and flopped down face-first.

“I have a question.” Tsukishima called after him.

“Mmmph?” Yamaguchi grumbled into the mattress, adjusting himself in his pants. Ugh, that small bit of stimulation had been good but he was still nowhere close.

“Why were you hiding it while I was _in the room?_ ”

Yamaguchi cringed. With all of these inquiries, it wasn’t going to be long before he’d have to tell Tsukishima why it had been out in the first place. He wasn’t even able to admit to _himself_ how much he liked it, much less _Tsukishima_.

The bed sagged under Tsukishima’s weight as he sat down.

“Tadashi?” He teased, a flirtatious lilt to his voice. “Did you _want_ me to see it?”

Yamaguchi scrambled to sit up, facing the other. “NO!”

Tsukishima was grinning down at him. “Then why?”

“I didn’t know it was still out!” He squeaked. Why was being looked down at by Tsukishima so sexy?

“It wasn’t out before the party...”

Yamaguchi shook his head. Tsukishima was too smart. Admittedly, that was one of the reasons why Yamaguchi adored him, but right now he didn’t appreciate it being used against him like this.

Tsukishima dangled the gag in front of Yamaguchi’s face. He didn’t know if he was being teased on purpose or if Tsukishima just wanted to make sure he knew the gag was still the focus of the conversation. “So when did you last use it?”

Of course he was teasing. Yamaguchi pulled his knees close to his chest before mumbling, “Like, right before you came in.”

Understanding blossomed on Tsukishima’s face and he let the gag fall onto the bed. “The marks.”

Yamaguchi nodded glumly. He thought about Tsukishima caressing the corners of his mouth and all it had led to. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Tsukishima turned his gaze back to the gag, tapping a finger against the silicone ball. “Is it because you’re loud?”

Yamaguchi choked on nothing.

Tsukishima grinned. “Gotcha.”

“Okay, yeah! At first!” He allowed.

Tsukishima turned to him with a new question on his tongue. _Crap._

Yamaguchi cut him off, swiftly supplying the information he was sure Tsukishima was about to needle out of him anyway. “But… it didn’t help that much.”

“Huh.” Tsukishima’s hand crept towards him.

Yamaguchi’s stomach butterflies were having a party, it seemed. He tried to ignore the sudden rush brought on by Tsukishima deciding to stay once again. He really didn’t want to be alone right now.

“I’m going to tease you a little, okay?” Tsukishima’s eyes were gentle.

Yamaguchi shifted eagerly. “Yes!”

Tsukishima tapped one of Yamaguchi’s knees lightly. “I want to be on top of you again.”

Yamaguchi immediately flattened his legs against the bed and Tsukishima smiled.

“So obedient.” His eyes raked over Yamaguchi, stopping at the tent in his pants.

Yamaguchi’s face burned even as the compliment(?) sent a wave of delight through him. He fought against the urge to cover himself. He wanted to be obedient. “I’m trying to be.”

Finally, Tsukishima swung a knee over Yamaguchi’s lap to straddle him and Tadashi’s heart dropped into his stomach to join the butterflies.

He swallowed, unsure of what was allowed. Tsukishima said he wanted to tease him. What did that mean? Yamaguchi really wanted to kiss him and take control, but he also really wanted to be complimented again. He couldn’t decide which one he wanted more.

Tsukishima grinned and Yamaguchi decided he wanted to be complimented more. Tsukishima lifted the gag by the buckle and swung it in front of Yamaguchi’s face. “So, you used this today?”

Tadashi’s eyes zeroed-in on the silicone ball, heart thumping. He nodded.

“What were you doing?” Tsukishima’s voice was dropping into a lower register and that was absolutely _doing it_ for Yamaguchi.

He couldn’t bring himself to say “ _Well you see, Tsukki, I jerked off to the thought of you making fun of me and came harder than any other time this year.”_ So he bit his lip instead.

“Remember you can say the safeword at any time.” Tsukishima whispered, like it was an intimate secret between the two of them. Which, Yamaguchi supposed, it was. His heart fluttered happily.

“I know,” He gripped the sheets to ground himself. He took a shaky breath, deciding to tell Tsukishima the truth. But slowly. “I was touching myself,” he admitted, letting himself bathe in the idea that Tsukishima _wanted_ to know this about him. That he, Tadashi, was important enough for Tsukki, no, _Kei_ , to want to analyze. And if he enjoyed the little rush of humiliation that came with admitting he masturbated with a gag in his mouth, well, that was his own business and nobody else’s.

“Did you get to finish?”

Yamaguchi worried his lip between his teeth. He nodded carefully, not wanting to elaborate.

Yamaguchi’s eyes were still on the gag, but in the fuzzy background, he could still see Tsukishima’s trademark smirk. “Thought so. You seemed more relaxed when I came in.”

Yamaguchi’s ears burned in disgrace and he turned away. Was he that much of an open-book? What if Tsukishima could always tell when he’d just rubbed one out? Something about Tsukki knowing something so intimate without having to be told made his insides warm affectionately.

“No, no.” Tsukishima chided. “Look at me.”

Yamaguchi swiftly complied, thankful for the opportunity to follow orders again, even though he felt naked and defenseless under Tsukki’s careful scrutiny.

“Good.” The gag advanced on Yamaguchi, brushing over his lips lightly.

His spine tingled and he was about to open his mouth when Tsukishima spoke.

“I want to try something.” He decided. “Is it okay if you wear this while I ask you questions?”

“But I won’t be able to--”

“I know. It’s, like, part of the whole teasing thing? And you can still shake your head yes and no.”

Yamaguchi’s stomach flipped. “Yes!” He almost sucked the ball into his mouth right then and there but Tsukki interrupted again.

“I’m changing the safeword.” He licked his lips.

“Huh?” _C’mon, just gag me already!_

“I don’t think you’ll be able to speak with this in your mouth.” He grinned, teasing the gag against Yamaguchi’s eager lips.

He whined through his nose as all his complaints and irritation vanished. _Oh please yes._

Tsukishima considered him. “Tap my leg three times if you want to stop.”

He nodded enthusiastically.

“Show me.”

Yamaguchi gave Tsukishima’s thigh three light hits. _C’monc’monc’mon!_

Tsukishima’s face broke into a smug smile. “Very good.”

Yamaguchi shivered at the praise, making sure his eyes stayed glued on Tsukishima. He opened his lips, ready to bite down hard on the silicone ball and feel it press harshly into the roof of his mouth.

“Not yet.”

Yamaguchi snapped his mouth shut. “Sorry.”

The ball pressed against his lips, careful not to breach them. “Before you aren’t able to talk anymore, I want to know what you were thinking about first.”

Yamaguchi quirked an eyebrow. “When?” His lips brushed against the gag. Yamaguchi fiddled with the sheets, trying to quiet his heart.

“When you came.” Tsukishima pressed the gag forward, barely pushing past his lips.

Yamaguchi moaned and grasped at the sheets helplessly as his head _thunk_ ed back against the wall. He opened his mouth greedily to accommodate the intrusion, but the ball retreated. Yamaguchi watched, mortified, as a string of spit extended between his lips and the silicone. Tsukishima watched it attentively until it broke.

Yamaguchi pouted when the ball didn’t push back in.

Tsukishima snickered.

_Mean._

“So, you like being petted and praised.” Tsukishima pondered, dragging the wet ball over Yamaguchi’s lips, coating them in his own spit. “You like being embarrassed. You like having your hair pulled. Were you thinking about any of those things when you came?”

Knowing Tsukki, Yamaguchi should have predicted this kind of logical, engineered take-down. But even so, the thought of being important enough to analyze surprised and excited him. “Yes.”

“Which one?” 

“All of them.” Tsukishima’s hungry glare restrained Yamaguchi as if he were bound with rope. Yamaguchi glared right back, but lost his composure when Tsukishima brushed over his dick while shifting forward in his lap.

Tsukishima’s eyes flashed. “Anything else?”

Yamaguchi nodded, trying to think back to what his addled brain had conjured up only a little while ago.

“What else were you thinking of, Tadashi?” The gag pushed between his lips. This time, with purpose.

Yamaguchi opened himself to it delightedly, making room in his mouth as it pressed his tongue back into his throat and forced his jaw open wide. He moaned quietly, vibrations shaking the ball. Yamaguchi bit down so it didn’t fall out.

Tsukishima stared at him. _Please don’t be disgusted with me._ Yamaguchi’s fingernails pressed anxiously into his palms, scratching lightly. He calmed himself through the gentle sensation. Tadashi knew he must look ridiculous, but even so… _Please don’t make me take it out. I like it so much,_ he pleaded silently.

“I’m going to buckle it, okay?”

Yamaguchi sighed in relief. He nodded, finding Tsukki’s eyes again. They were warm. Yamaguchi felt like Tsukki was snuggling him under a blanket. Although, the soft fire of arousal was poking through, too. Like he was being groped under said blanket.

_Hell yes, please grope me._

_Calm the fuck down, Tadashi!_

Tsukishima slid his hands behind Yamaguchi’s head and fastened the gag, fingers stumbling over the clasp. Yamaguchi smiled as best he could when Tsukishima withdrew and the gag was still very much _not tight enough_. At this rate, it would fall out if Yamaguchi loosened his teeth. It was sweet of Tsukki to be so careful with him, but Yamaguchi reached back, pulling the straps taut and re-fastening it, huffing in exertion.

He dropped his hands back to the bed when he finished and, just like the earlier test, he attempted to spit the ball out only to have it stay put, immovable and pressed harshly into the roof of his mouth.

Almost like he was trapped. _Forced_ to feel the ball pushing into him. _Fuck._ He moaned softly.

When Tadshi was brave enough, he sucked in a deep breath through his nose and peeked up sheepishly.

Tsukishima regarded him curiously for a moment before his eyes snapped to where Yamaguchi’s lips stretched around the gag. He licked his lips. Then he lightly licked Yamaguchi’s.

Yamaguchi let his head fall back against the wall and closed his eyes.

Tsukishima’s mouth retreated, leaving his lips cold and wet. He felt two slim hands tracing both cheekbones. Yamaguchi leaned into the touch.

“Do you like this?”

Yamaguchi tried to speak but of course it only came out as wordless gurgling. _Stupid._ Yamaguchi settled for nodding instead.

Tsukishima pushed on the ball experimentally, forcing it further into Yamaguchi’s already-crowded mouth for a single, delicious second. “I like it, too.”

 _Yes yes yes!_ Yamaguchi groaned.

“If you’re like this, you can’t speak.”

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. _Obviously?_ That pathetic attempt had been proof enough.

Tsukishima chuckled. “So I’ll have to guess what you were thinking about when you came tonight and you nod if I’m right.” He scooted forward on Yamaguchi’s lap, slotting their hips together in a way that shot a current of pleasure through Yamaguchi.

“Hg!” He tried retreating but found himself with nowhere to go, pressed against the wall as he was. The same wall he’d pinned himself to earlier. His heart raced. He was way past thinking this was some vivid dream at this point. This was real. Tsukki was here. Yamaguchi was ecstatic. Not to mention rock-hard.

“Can I guess, then?” Tsukishima’s hips ground down, and Yamaguchi’s eye shot open, hips bucking upwards in response without permission.

Yamaguchi panted through his nose, a tiny line of spit dribbling down his chin. _Gross._ He shivered happily. Trapped against the wall by Tsukishima and drooling on himself, Yamaguchi felt exquisitely helpless. But he knew Tsukki would protect him, like always.

Tsukishima watched with blatant curiosity and maybe a little concern. He extended a sleeve to gently wipe the spit from Yamaguchi’s face. “Can you answer me, Tadashi? Are you okay?”

A clump of emotion rose in Yamaguchi’s throat. Of all people, Tsukishima was doing this for _him._ Yamaguchi sniffed wetly. He nodded.

Tsukishima traced calming patterns into Yamaguchi’s skin. “Is it too much?”

 _Please don’t stop! I’m just happy._ He shook his head no.

“Tap my leg if you want to stop, remember?”

He nodded aggressively. Yamaguchi didn’t understand how he could be so turned on even after jerking off and being drop-dead tired not even five minutes ago, but he thought it was better not to question things like that and just roll with it. He gripped Tsukki’s thighs to pull him closer in an attempt to convince Tsukki to keep going.

Tsukishima gasped as his length rubbed against Yamaguchi’s stomach. “Are you trying to distract me?” He smirked. “I can’t let you do that.”

Tsukishima dug his fingers into the back of Yamaguchi’s neck, massaging roughly. Yamaguchi did his best to keep breathing as pleasure blossomed behind his eyes while his muscles were coerced into relaxation.

“I have so many theories about what you’re into. I want to see if I’m right.”

Yamaguchi nodded excitedly, the fear of Tsukishima thinking he was weird fully forgotten.

“I expected you were into praise and hair-pulling.” Tsukishima fiddled with Yamaguchi’s sweater. “You’re too obvious.”

Yamaguchi made a note to ask Tsukishima what he meant by that when he could speak again but then Tsukishima yanked the collar of his sweater down to reveal his shoulder and Yamaguchi forgot about it. Tsukki’s head ducked out of sight and Yamaguchi felt what must have been Tsukishima’s tongue laving over his collarbones. Yamaguchi bared his throat for easier access.

“I also think that you like following orders.” He bit down on Yamaguchi’s collarbone. 

Something between a whine and a scream punched out of Yamaguchi’s throat.

“Do you like it when I tell you what to do, Tadashi?” He licked over to the other collarbone.

Yamaguchi nodded shakily, still lost in the throbbing heat settling into his collarbone. He readied himself for another blossom of pleasure mixed with pain.

“Was that one of the things you were thinking about when you touched yourself?” Tsukishima’s breath warmed his skin.

Yamaguchi gripped the sheets. His face burned.

Tsukishima sat back on his heels, looking more pleased with himself than he had any right to. As if adjusting to the new discovery, his next words were a command. “Answer me.”

Yamaguchi’s toes curled at the direct order. His desire to please Tsukishima took control of his neck muscles and nodded his head before his modesty had a chance to stop him.

“Thought so.” Tsukishima smirked, tucking a lock of hair behind Yamaguchi’s ear.

The mocking tone shot a jolt of pleasure up Yamaguchi’s spine. He whimpered.

Tsukishima’s hand softly crept into his hair again. Yamaguchi leaned into it. But it buried itself there and his head was yanked to the side, forcing a pitchy moan out of his lungs.

Yamaguchi squirmed as a hot breath fanned over his neck.

“I have another theory.” Tsukishima tugged his hair again.

“Hnnn!” His body jerked involuntarily against Tsukishima, causing the grip on his hair to tighten. A mewl pried itself from Yamaguchi’s throat.

Tsukishima cursed. “You’re so responsive.” He breathed over Yamaguchi’s ear ticklishly, making him jerk helplessly against the wall once again.

Tsukki was _playing_ with him like a fun new toy. Yamaguchi never wanted him to stop. He grunted, trying to grind on something, anything. But Tsukishima pinned him down with his hips. _Mean_ . Everything else was perfect: the hair-pulling, the humiliation, the lapful of _Tsukki_ . Why couldn’t he get a little stimulation?! _Please!_

“Stop that.” Tsukishima let go of his hair.

Yamaguchi quirked his eyebrow, searching Tsukishima’s eyes.

“Don’t move your hips.” His lips curled into a sadistic smile.

 _Oh._ Yamaguchi whined through the gag, only half-hoping Tsukishima would change his mind.

“I’m teasing you, remember?” Tsukishima stroked his hair softly. “I don’t want you having too much fun.”

Yamaguchi knew that he should feel angry or frustrated. But he didn’t. He really, _really_ didn’t. This was a chance to show he could follow Tsukishima’s orders. He had to prove himself.

Tsukishima ground down.

Yamaguchi yelped but managed to stay still and not thrust against him.

Tsukishima smiled evilly. “Good boy.”

Yamaguchi was elated.

“If you don’t like it, tap my leg three times and we can stop and talk about it.” Tsukishima crossed his arms.

Yamaguchi crossed his own arms in defiance.

Tsukishima laughed. “So, do you actually like orgasm delay or are you just too stubborn to back down?”

Yamaguchi flushed. Images of his fantasy in which he hadn’t let himself come until he’d been thoroughly fucked flashed through his mind.

Tsukishima smiled and planted a kiss on the gag, making Yamaguchi painfully aware that driving his tongue in Tsukki’s mouth was out-of-the-question now that this stupid ball was filling him up. 

Tsukishima sat back, regarding him expectantly. “So? Is it something you’re into?”

Yamaguchi squeezed his eyes shut. He nodded.

Tsukishima snickered. “Didn’t expect that. Looks like I’m just lucky.”

_Lucky?_

“I have one more thing to ask you.”

Yamaguchi straightened up, ignoring the straining erection in his pants.

Tsukishima bit his lip, averting his eyes.

“Do you want to have sex?”

Yamaguchi almost fell over.

“Tadashi?!” Tsukishima re-balanced him.

He frantically tapped Tsukishima’s thigh about six times, needing to talk _right now._

They both fumbled to get the gag off, a mess of limbs. Yamaguchi actually fell over in the process, accidentally pulling Tsukishima down with him.

When they’d pushed the straps out of the way and Yamaguchi finally spit out the ball, he tackled Tsukishima.

“Yes!” Yamaguchi’s voice cracked. “Yes, I want to have sex with you so bad.”

Tsukishima hugged him closer, already fumbling at his pants.

Suddenly, the full weight of what he was agreeing to hit Yamaguchi. “But not tonight.” He stuttered.

“Oh.” He stuck out his lip like a petulant child.

_Cute…_

Yamaguchi looked fondly at his boyfriend.

“Listen, _Kei,_ ” he teased.

Tsukishima’s face flushed. _Interesting._

“I’ve been trying to get some sleep since before you dragged me to that party so I might actually fall unconscious before we finished.”

“Bet you wouldn’t.” Tsukishima mumbled haughtily.

Yamaguchi snorted. “Here’s my offer.”

Tsukishima perked up.

“You sleep over tonight, and we can talk about it tomorrow.”

Tsukishima crossed his arms, but he looked significantly happier.

Yamaguchi giggled, running his hand up Tsukishima’s thigh and bobbing his eyebrows. “My roommate won’t be back until Sunday.”

Tsukishima shivered beneath Yamaguchi’s fingers. “Kay.”

Yamaguchi yawned and crawled past Tsukki to put the gag on his bedroom table. No need to hide it anymore. He then climbed under his covers, motioning for Tsukishima to follow. “Besides, I fucked myself for the first time in months earlier today so I don’t know if it would be the best time to--”

Tsukishima’s eyes grew impossibly wider. “You, um--? Really?”

Yamaguchi burned red. “The _point_ is… a lot has happened.”

Tsukishima opened and closed his mouth a few times before deciding to nod mutely. He hugged the wall while carefully crawling under the sheets with Yamaguchi. He didn’t move closer.

Yamaguchi giggled, turning to face him. Even though he was under a blanket and the room was fairly warm now, Yamaguchi felt cold without Tsukishima’s hands on him. One evening had spoiled him already. “Can I get closer, Tsukki? I would like to snuggle my boyfriend.”

He adjusted his glasses. “But I’m…” He coughed. “I’m still… _turned on._ ” He said carefully.

“That’s okay. Me too.” Yamaguchi thought for a moment. “Do you want to come?”

Tsukishima tensed. He wouldn’t meet Yamaguchi’s eyes. “Obviously. But if you’re not going to… It would be rude, right?”

Yamaguchi smiled. “I don’t think so.”

Tsukishima reddened. “You don’t?”

Yamaguchi shook his head. Did he really have the chance to watch Tsukishima orgasm tonight? In his own bed? Truly a dream come true. Sure, he was too tired to do anything too crazy, but he wasn’t tired enough to miss this. Not if Tsukki was uncomfortable, of course. “Here’s my alternate offer. You can choose which one you’d like to take.”

Honey eyes followed Tadashi’s every movement.

“You can sleep here tonight and we can talk more about what you meant by ‘sex’ tomorrow. But _now_ , I touch you until you cum.”

Yamaguchi’s ears must have been playing tricks on him because he could have sworn he heard Tsukishima make a small choking noise.

“But only if you want to.” He clarified.

Tsukishima was flat against the wall. “Hypothetically…” He started. “If I were to choose this alternate option, how would you want to… touch me?”

Yamaguchi couldn’t tell if he was asking a genuine question or if he was flirting. Yamaguchi decided to play it safe and answer honestly. “I was hoping to kiss and grind against you for a bit to get you worked up and then I’d stroke you off with my hands?”

Tsukishima shifted excitedly. “Yes.”

“Really?”

Tsukishima cleared his throat, face red. “I choose the alternate option.”

Yamaguchi breathed through his nose, trying to calm his fluttering heart. “Can I tease you a little, too?”

Tsukishima blinked down at him. He nodded.

“Tell me if it’s too much.” Yamaguchi reached out carefully and skimmed his fingers over Tsukishima’s neck. Tsukki closed his eyes. Yamaguchi trailed up, up, up behind his ear to remove Tsukishima’s glasses. He lifted his head obligingly.

Yamaguchi tried to smoothly deposit the glasses on his bedside table but ended up fumbling so much he had to turn around to actually see what he was doing. Tsukishima snickered at him. It was cut-off by a gasp when Yamaguchi pushed himself backwards and ground his ass against Tsukishima’s dick.

“Sensitive?” Yamaguchi mocked, his hips setting a lazy rhythm.

Tsukishima’s arms clamped around Yamaguchi’s torso, holding on for dear life. “Just a nice… ass.” He forced out.

Yamaguchi’s heart wiggled. “Thanks.” He hooked his hands under Tsukishima’s thighs and thrust their hips together with fervor.

Tsukishima’s head thumped onto his shoulder. He panted. “T--Tadashi.”

“Kei.” Yamaguchi countered.

Tsukishima’s hips bucked.

“I noticed earlier that you seemed to like me calling you Kei. Is that true?”

Tsukishima gripped him tighter.

_“Kei?”_

Tsukishima nodded into his shoulder. “Yamaguchi, feels good, feels--” His voice was whinier than normal. Yamaguchi wanted to hear him come apart.

Yamaguchi decided that he could take it slow tomorrow but right now he needed to get his hands on this boy’s dick.

He pushed Tsukishima away, turning to face him, which turned out to be a winning decision. _Good job, me!_ Tsukishima looked different than any other time he’d seen him. His shirt was raked up exposing most of his chest and stomach. His face was flushed, lips pushed into a frustrated pout.

“Why’d you stop?!” He demanded breathlessly. It would have been intimidating if everything about him didn’t scream _please touch me, Yamaguchi_.

So he did. Yamaguchi scooted forward to kiss him, cupping Tsukishima’s face in his hands.

Tsukishima opened his mouth greedily and Yamaguchi pushed his tongue past the seam of their lips. He found that Tsukishima liked to be kissed aggressively. He pulled Tsukki towards him, deeper into the kiss. Tsukishima sighed through his nose when Yamaguchi pressed down hard against his tongue. He sighed louder when Yamaguchi pulled away to bite and tug his lips.

Yamaguchi crept his hands down to undo Tsukishima’s pants. Tsukki was practically vibrating with energy. Yamaguchi giggled to himself. Before Tsukishima could ask what was so funny he dove back into the kiss, earning a muffled moan in response.

When Yamaguchi slipped his hand past the waistband of his boxer-briefs, Tsukishima’s breath hitched. Yamaguchi’s fingers encircling his dick caused Tsukishima to break the kiss and instead tilt his head back against the wall, chest heaving.

 _Big mistake,_ mused Yamaguchi, wetting his lips as he eyed the expanse of pure, soft, _unmarked_ neck that had just been presented to him.

When he nibbled at a tendon, Tsukishima bucked into his hand.

“Yam-- Tadashi!” He begged.

Yamaguchi was on it, licking and biting every inch of skin he could find. Tsukishima shook against him.

“Good, good, so good…” Tsukki chanted softly.

Yamaguchi preened at the praise, dominant flame already blazing in the pit of his stomach. “Can you face me, Tsukki?”

He puffed out a breath and his neck flexed as he angled his head towards Tadashi. His pupils blown wide, face red, hair sticking to his forehead.

“You’re so pretty like this, Kei.”

Tsukishima pressed his lips into a thin line, but the corners of his mouth were twitching. His eyebrows tilted up in an unspoken question: ‘really?’

Yamaguchi’s hand squeezed his length tighter and pulled him into a searing kiss. Tsukishima whined into his mouth.

Yamaguchi was in heaven.

Tsukishima was now thrusting to meet Yamaguchi’s hand. He let out a tiny huff of air each time Yamaguchi twisted his wrist.

When he felt Tsukishima speed up, Yamaguchi made a point of pulling away to watch his face.

With glee, he decided to use Tsukki’s previous game against him. “Look at me.”

Tsukishima pushed out his bottom lip, clearly annoyed. “W-- why?” He gasped when Yamaguchi squeezed him.

“Because I want to watch you come apart.”

Tsukishima bit his lip and flicked his eyes down, but he didn’t turn his face away.

Yamaguchi jerked him hard and Tsukishima’s eyes snapped back to his boyfriend’s face.

“Kei,” Yamaguchi said.

Tsukishima bit out a moan. There was a moment where Tsukishima’s face melted into pure, mortified shame. His hands flew up to cover his mouth.

So Yamaguchi said it again. “Kei.” He picked up speed and Tsukishima fought to keep up.

He kept saying it until Tsukishima’s body pulled taut as he came over Yamaguchi’s hand. Yamaguchi watched with fascination at the way Tsukishima’s fingers clutched over his mouth to muffle the quiet moan that shuddered out.

He was beautiful. Hair sticking up, eyes unfocused (although, whether that was due to the orgasm or his lack of glasses was unclear), panting, his hands shot out to grip Yamaguchi’s arms.

Beautiful.

So he said it.

“You’re beautiful.”

Tsukishima forced out an exhausted, but decidedly sarcastic laugh.

“Really.” Yamaguchi confirmed.

Tsukki considered him. “Time for bed.”

***

They cleaned up, Tsukishima swooping in to do most of the work since Yamaguchi had said he was tired.

But Yamaguchi found he couldn’t go to sleep when he could instead be seeing Tsukishima strip out of his clothes. He sat in bed, eyes glued hungrily to his lithe form. It wasn’t at all like in locker-rooms. Tsukishima was bashful this time. Yamaguchi found it _adorable_. He supposed he understood why Tsukki had turned away; Yamaguchi had never seen beneath his underwear before.

“What?” Tsukishima had sat down and was staring at him, trying to cover himself with the blankets of the bed.

“Oh! Um,” Yamaguchi spluttered. “You’re really pretty??”

Tsukishima rolled his eyes. “What can I wear?”

Yamaguchi stumbled out of bed and over to the dresser. He fished out a sweater he had stolen from Tsukishima last year and some baggy shorts. He returned, dumping them in Tsukki’s lap.

He raised his eyebrows. “Is this mine?”

“You never asked for it back.” Yamaguchi offered weakly.

Tsukishima shrugged. “You looked good in it.”

 _So it had been intentional._ Yamaguchi’s cheeks hurt from smiling.

Tsukishima ignored him and slipped the sweater over his head.

After Yamaguchi got changed, he insisted on kissing Tsukki goodnight because he’d wanted to for years. Tsukki made fun of him for being sentimental. Yamaguchi didn’t care.

They crawled back into bed together and Yamaguchi snuggled close, burying his face into Tsukishima’s neck. He got a lungful of his familiar oaky scent. Tsukishima smoothed a hand over Yamaguchi’s back, pulling him closer. Yamaguchi’s heart swelled. This was real. Tsukki was here.

“Goodnight, Tsukki.” He slurred, eyelids drooping.

“See you tomorrow.”

After what felt like the longest night of his life, Yamaguchi finally drifted off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew!! What a time!! There were so many ways this story could have gone and for a while I didn't know which one to do! This means that I plan on writing a sequel(s?) in the same universe as this work so if you have a request for a oneshot, sequel, or even an alternate ending ;) for this one, have at it! Please leave your request in the comments and I'll take a gander! No guarantee that I'll write your prompt, but I might! Shoot your shot, my guys, gals, and enby pals <3 It could be smut or fluff or anything that catches your fancy.
> 
> Seriously. Everyone that made it this far, you have my sincere gratitude. Thank you for reading

**Author's Note:**

> I got a Twitter! @All_the_Queer in case anyone wants to come hang out <3


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